10 Changes DeSantis Has Ordered For Disney World

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10 Changes DeSantis Has Ordered For Disney World

Published: Tuesday, April 26th, 2022 @ 1:19 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Florida legislature has revoked Disney's self-governing status which means that some bold new changes are on the way. Disneyland in California will remain a popular site for human trafficking but the Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL is going to experience a dramatic overhaul.

    Take a look at these exciting changes on the way:

    1) The Hall of Presidents will just have 46 animatronic Donald Trumps: They are the greatest robots, maybe ever. Everyone says so.

    2) Chip and Dale will now reside in separate trees: We can't let our children be corrupted by cartoon characters having too close of a relationship.

    3) Avatar land will be turned into an IP someone actually cares about like Krull: Wield a sentient weapon and save the world!

    4) Only the original Star Wars trilogy may be spoken of: The prequel trilogy is too perfect to corrupt with human speech.

    5) The only country featured in Epcot will be AMERICA: America is like a highlight reel of all the best countries anyway.

    6) All Disney princesses to be replaced with Melania Trump: Finally, real diversity!

    7) Weird Disney adults who come without kids will be banned: Yessss!!!

    8) Human trafficking is strongly discouraged: And no more kids on leashes, you weirdos!

    9) It's A Small World attraction to be dismantled by tactical nuke: The area will be sealed off for thirty years.

    10) Johnny Depp's character will no longer wear eye shadow on the Pirates ride: Will also incorporate ex-wife Amber Heard in a redesigned auction scene.

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