Pride Flag Adds Big 'G' For Groomers | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WORLD     Notable LGBTQ+ organization G.O.L.D. unveiled an updated Pride Flag just in time for Pride Month in June. The new flag features a capitalized letter "G" to represent the oppressed minority known as "Groomers." This marks the first time a letter, rather than a color, has been added to the flag since it was first designed by artist Gilbert Baker in 1978.

    The Groomer Flag was designed by Ronald Carson, a turbo-gender artist currently serving time in Michigan State Prison for pedophilia. Carson reportedly spent hours working with an intersex-inclusive flag variation before deciding to just add a "G" to it. Sources confirm he was paid over a thousand dollars for his work.

    "This is an outstanding achievement, for both the LGBTQ+ community and for graphic design," said LGBTQ+ activist Chelby Danish. "Finally, groomers-both straight and gay-can feel truly seen. I mean, you can't miss it. The 'G' covers half the flag just like groomers dominate the conversation on LGBTQ+ issues every day."

    Elementary school teachers and Disney workers have applauded the flag, grateful that the spotlight can shine on them and all the incredible work they've done to confuse children and induct them into gender ideology.

    "If it weren't for us, gay, trans, and everything else would be a minority. We've worked to mold children into whatever will make them politically useful to us," said third-grade teacher Shelly Olbermann. "It helps that kids love rainbows."

    According to sources, teachers across America are planning to hang the new flag up in their classrooms and then threaten their students to not tell anyone about it.