Gamers Frustrated By New Female Grand Theft Auto Character Constantly Running Over Curbs | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK CITY, NY     Rockstar Studios' upcoming Grand Theft Auto 6 has already created a splash with news that it will feature the series' first female Latina protagonist. However, gamers are reportedly wary following reports that the character constantly runs over curbs while racing through the fictional Vice City, making the game impossible to complete.

    "This game is impossible!" wrote Gregory Gamépro in a scathing preview for gaming website Bit Wizdom. "In previous entries you might drive through a gas station or plow through pedestrians for fun, but now you can't even do that! Every time I try to run someone over the character flails her arms and drives into the curb. It's so boring!"

    "It's more efficient to power walk around the city," he noted. "Hard to have a thrilling car chase when your character is more interested in getting her steps in."

    Insiders within Rockstar Studios report that quality assurance testers have been unable to complete the game due to the character's inferior driving skills. The inclusion of a ticking biological clock has also added a layer of difficulty which reportedly detracts from the open world mayhem the series is known for.

    Grand Theft Auto 6 is not expected to release for another two years, but is already behind schedule.