10 Things You Can Do With $150K Instead Of Paying A College To Brainwash Your Kid | Eastern North Carolina Now | You may think you need to pay a college $150,000 to do the essential job of brainwashing your kid, but thankfully, there are other ways to skin a cat!

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    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    You may think you need to pay a college $150,000 to do the essential job of brainwashing your kid, but thankfully, there are other ways to skin a cat!

    Here are some things you can do with all that money instead:

  1. Buy a Disney+ subscription: Disney+ offers pretty much the same brainwashing benefits of a college education but it also has Star Wars.
  2. Give them a smartphone and just walk away: Their brains will be mush within hours.
  3. Pay a transgender feminist Communist with pink hair to live in your home for 4 years and undermine everything you say: Throw in a little extra and you've got yourself an okay housekeeper. Two birds with one stone!
  4. Fly your kids out to Russia for a totally legal lobotomy from Dr. Dimitri Kozlov: No one butchers a brain like ole' Dimitri! Except for maybe Harvard.
  5. Read the collected works of Ibram X. Kendi: In order to raise antiracists, you'll have to become racist. Don't try to make sense of it.
  6. Build a paper mâché statue of George Floyd: This is all college students do now anyway. And due to inflation, the materials now cost 150k!
  7. Volunteer them for CIA mind control experiments: Only a 43% survival rate but it's free!
  8. Move to Portland: Unfortunately, 150k isn't going to buy you a house. But you'll be able to rent a really terrific room. Very cozy.
  9. Pay the one-hour consulting fee for Robin DiAngelo to speak at your home: Oops! Her fee just went up! never mind.
  10. Abandon your children and flee to Tahiti: They're the state's problem now.

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