10 Things You Can Do With $150K Instead Of Paying A College To Brainwash Your Kid | Eastern NC Now

You may think you need to pay a college $150,000 to do the essential job of brainwashing your kid, but thankfully, there are other ways to skin a cat!

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    You may think you need to pay a college $150,000 to do the essential job of brainwashing your kid, but thankfully, there are other ways to skin a cat!

    Here are some things you can do with all that money instead:

  1. Buy a Disney+ subscription: Disney+ offers pretty much the same brainwashing benefits of a college education but it also has Star Wars.
  2. Give them a smartphone and just walk away: Their brains will be mush within hours.
  3. Pay a transgender feminist Communist with pink hair to live in your home for 4 years and undermine everything you say: Throw in a little extra and you've got yourself an okay housekeeper. Two birds with one stone!
  4. Fly your kids out to Russia for a totally legal lobotomy from Dr. Dimitri Kozlov: No one butchers a brain like ole' Dimitri! Except for maybe Harvard.
  5. Read the collected works of Ibram X. Kendi: In order to raise antiracists, you'll have to become racist. Don't try to make sense of it.
  6. Build a paper mâché statue of George Floyd: This is all college students do now anyway. And due to inflation, the materials now cost 150k!
  7. Volunteer them for CIA mind control experiments: Only a 43% survival rate but it's free!
  8. Move to Portland: Unfortunately, 150k isn't going to buy you a house. But you'll be able to rent a really terrific room. Very cozy.
  9. Pay the one-hour consulting fee for Robin DiAngelo to speak at your home: Oops! Her fee just went up! never mind.
  10. Abandon your children and flee to Tahiti: They're the state's problem now.

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Brand New Tactical Knife Is The Same One Used By Navy SEALs To Open Their Wives' Amazon Packages Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Aunt's Facebook Account Hacked Again


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

“They have never managed anything like this before, and it’s like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches coming out the sides."

HbAD1

illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
permanently blocks Trump's EO to require proof of citizenship to register to vote
In genetic mouse models mirroring human pancreatic cancer, diets rich in oleic acid sped up tumor growth.

HbAD2

climate alarmism was created as a political tool, largely by the UN
Three "Democrat Socialists of America" headed to Congress in safe Democrat districts

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top