Alex Jones Sentenced To Death | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

This post revisited, created by the Babylon Bee, was first posted on November 1, 2022, and, NOW, is moved forward to this present day due to its recent publication; where it, most importantly, enjoys a high volume of unique views ... respectfully concluding that this post is either funny, entertaining or informative ... or conditionally all three ... enjoy it again, or for the first time, should that be a refinement within your nature to do so.

    WATERBURY, CT     After several days of hearings, a Connecticut jury has found Alex Jones guilty of defamation and has sentenced him to death.

    "We the jury find Alex Jones guilty on all counts of defamation and have hereby sentenced him to hang from the neck until he is dead," read the presiding juror. "May God have mercy on his soul."

    Eyewitnesses say Jones collapsed as the verdict was read.

    "We understand this is a civil suit, but Alex Jones is so uniquely evil we decided pursuing the death penalty in this case was appropriate," said a lawyer representing the plaintiffs. "The jury also ruled that Jones must pay a sum of infinity dollars, which is good because our legal fee was eleventy-trillion-thousand dollars."

    Jones's lawyers are submitting an appeal, but legal experts predict the appeal will be immediately dismissed on the grounds of Alex Jones being Alex Jones.

    The execution is scheduled for next Wednesday.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

845 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#161

Considering what is being reported as the most divisive presidential speech - September 1, 2022 - in modern American history, where over 74,000,000 people, many of whom are OUR greatest patriots, were named as fascists by inference or otherwise: Is Joe Biden clearly capable of governing all of the American People to the betterment of this Representative Republic?

  Yes, it is important that Haters are named.

  No, Joe Biden cannot accept criticism when the real truth is his cruelest taskmaster.

  I have no idea what is going on because I only consume Democratic Socialist Media.

629 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?