New Greta Thunberg Thermostat Scowls At You When You Turn The Heat Up | Eastern NC Now

Google, the makers of the Nest™ thermostat that totally does not track your every movement and thought, has partnered with climate activist Greta Thunberg

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    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA     Google, the makers of the Nest™ thermostat that totally does not track your every movement and thought, has partnered with climate activist Greta Thunberg to make a thermostat that scowls at you when you attempt to turn the heat up.

    The Greta Thunberg Thermostat™ also emits an audible, "How dare you" if it hears you emit dangerous methane into the atmosphere in the form of a fart.

    The Greta Thunberg Thermostat™ is predicted to fly off the shelves of stores that are currently unable to carry less important items like baby formula and children's vitamins. Popular features of the new thermostat sure to be a hit among climate-informed users include:

  • A backlit screen that displays the names of people who will probably die because you bumped it from 63º to 64º in mid-January.
  • Emits a loud siren if you leave the front door open for more than three seconds.
  • Reports you to the United Nations Climate Police if it feels like you might be thinking about turning on a lamp.
  • Smiles at you when you turn the heat down, but it still looks like a scowl.

    At publishing time, stores had begun stocking a new PETA Frying Pan™ that screams bloody murder if you use it to cook meat.
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