Husband’s Instagram Account Exists Solely To Post About His Wife On Her Birthday | Eastern North Carolina Now | Multiple sources have confirmed that local man Dan Zilph's Instagram account exists solely to wish his wife "happy birthday" every year.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    GREELEY, CO     Multiple sources have confirmed that local man Dan Zilph's Instagram account exists solely to wish his wife "happy birthday" every year. Evidence that Zilph uses his Instagram for a singular purpose becomes clear when looking at his once-annual posts occurring the day after his wife's birthday.

    "Honestly, when I signed up, I figured I'd be posting pictures regularly of the kids and the dog," said Zilph while frantically searching for a birthday present up and down the aisles of Home Depot. "But after realizing Instagram is just a Skinner Box filled with heaps of garbage, I only pull it out on the old lady's birthday, cuz I love her."

    After hearing of Dan Zilph's scant use of Instagram, millions of other husbands came forward admitting they only used the social media app to post about their wives on their birthdays. A single swipe through these accounts was all it took to see a decade of birthday wishes.

    At publishing time, those close to Zilph revealed his secret, second Instagram account where he posts nothing but pictures of fish he caught.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Experts Confirm 'Batman: The Animated Series' Was Pinnacle Of Human Civilization Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Essential Tips For Finding A Spouse At A Christian College


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

The World Cup courted controversy this week after one of the teams continued racking up an obscene number of points even after it was clear they were already poised to win 1-0.
Rep. Lee Zeldin (R-NY) said Thursday he would “very seriously consider” running for Republican National Committee chair, challenging Ronna McDaniel in her bid for reelection.
FBI Director Christopher Wray admitted Thursday that he left early a Senate oversight hearing in August to go on vacation.
Twenty-four members of the US Men's Soccer team were thrown off the top of the Lusail Stadium today after defying Qatar authorities and wearing LGBTQ+ jerseys on the field. Twenty-four players died in the incident.
Facebook officials said Wednesday that the social media platform has no plans to reinstate the account of former President Donald Trump, despite announcing his bid earlier this week for a second term in the White House in 2024.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has a seven point lead over former President Donald Trump in who Republican voters want to see as the party’s 2024 presidential nominee, according to a new poll released this week.
Washington Examiner looks at Biden attack on democracy
shows ideological indoctrination on climate alarmism in schools
Joe Biden is the most popular president in history. You can't throw a rock without hitting someone who voted for him! So, the chances are high that someone you love is a Biden voter.

HbAD1

DailyWire+ has acquired exclusive film and television rights to Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” and will develop a series based on the groundbreaking 1957 novel, company co-CEO Jeremy Boreing announced Thursday.
The Civitas Poll of parents found that parents want controversial books reviewed by committees and objectionable books removed from elementary schools
The Pennsylvania House of Representatives voted on Wednesday to impeach controversial Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner (D-PA).
Individuals and organizations are quitting Twitter in droves to protest Elon Musk's "recklessly violent" decision to reinstate Donald Trump's Twitter account, chief among them the Taliban.
The U.S. Senate this week passed a resolution to terminate the national emergency declared in 2020 in response to the COVID pandemic, but 37 Democrats voted against it.
RALEIGH: Today, Governor Roy Cooper appointed individuals to the Governor's Commission on the Governance of Public Universities in North Carolina.
Remember former first lady Michelle Obama‘s newfound pride in America as her husband was gaining popularity in the 2008 presidential election? Well, it didn’t really last long as she apparently thought Americans were still a bunch of bigots, despite Barack getting elected.
In a break from a long-standing tradition, the White House announced that this year's Thanksgiving turkey would not receive a ceremonial pardon from President Joe Biden after it was discovered that the turkey had attended the riot at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021.
Republican Kari Lake is planning legal challenges to the Arizona election after her projected loss to Democrat candidate and Secretary of State Katie Hobbs.

HbAD2

On Election Day 2022, Donald Trump couldn’t stand that the news of the day was going to be about … not him.
After months of arguing that he was ready for the responsibility of a mobile device, local homeschooler Kevin Hillstead at last wore his parents down.
Two Republican lawmakers poised to take over key House committees in the new year vowed Thursday to investigate President Joe Biden‘s potential involvement in the shady business schemes exposed on his son’s abandoned laptop.
Former U.S. Sen. Phil Gramm discusses his book, “The Myth of American Inequality: How Government Biases Policy Debate.”
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), 82, announced Thursday that she will not seek re-election as the top Democrat in the House but will remain in Congress.
As some reports claimed that executives at defunct cryptocurrency platform FTX engaged in rampant drug use and boasted a network of intertwined romantic relationships, a psychologist who worked closely with company leadership denied such allegations.
WORLD — Thirteen billion people have already died horrible deaths mere hours after former President Donald Trump was reinstated to Twitter.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top