10 Awesome Christmas Gifts For Your Homeschooled Child | Eastern NC Now

Do you homeschool your kids? Ew! Where will they learn social skills? Aren't you concerned about that? Oh well--even weird homeschoolers deserve a good Christmas, so here are some gift ideas to help you out!

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Do you homeschool your kids? Ew! Where will they learn social skills? Aren't you concerned about that? Oh well--even weird homeschoolers deserve a good Christmas, so here are some gift ideas to help you out!

  1. The Iliad and Odyssey in the original ancient Greek: For fun translation time with friends!
  2. A brand new shirt: But they still have to sew it themselves.
  3. 9th sibling: No homeschooled child should have to settle for 8!
  4. A book of small words: To help them learn how to talk to all the illiterate kids their own age.
  5. Shiny new garden hoe: Makes harvesting the zucchini much easier!
  6. Neck pillow: For those long, semi-annual van rides to Ken Ham's "The Ark Encounter"
  7. World Book Encyclopedia: With all the sex and anatomy stuff blacked out with a marker. A small price to pay for purity!
  8. A real haircut: Supercuts does a much better job than Mom. What a treat!
  9. "The Talk": As long as they're at least 20 years old.
  10. Tickets for their first secular concert: Switchfoot!

    And that's it! Merry Christmas and have fun shopping for your home-educated geniuses!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Santa’s Sleigh Mistakenly Shot Down By Ukrainian Missile Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Dad Arrives At Vacant Lot Where Mall Used To Be To Begin His Christmas Shopping


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

permanently blocks Trump's EO to require proof of citizenship to register to vote
In genetic mouse models mirroring human pancreatic cancer, diets rich in oleic acid sped up tumor growth.
climate alarmism was created as a political tool, largely by the UN
Three "Democrat Socialists of America" headed to Congress in safe Democrat districts

HbAD1

illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
Democrat-run states have said they won’t send official delegations to the country’s 250th birthday bash

HbAD2

The North Carolina House unanimously passed the “Dominique Moody Safety Act,” advancing a child-welfare reform package named for the six-year-old girl whose death exposed repeated failures by Mecklenburg County social services officials to act on reports of abuse and neglect.
Maybe a holiday for Texas, but NOT the nation
government agencies refused to help on fear of being called "racist"

HbAD3

targets data centers and intermittent electricity sources

HbAD4

 
 
Back to Top