10 Awesome Christmas Gifts For Your Homeschooled Child | Eastern North Carolina Now

Do you homeschool your kids? Ew! Where will they learn social skills? Aren't you concerned about that? Oh well--even weird homeschoolers deserve a good Christmas, so here are some gift ideas to help you out!

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Do you homeschool your kids? Ew! Where will they learn social skills? Aren't you concerned about that? Oh well--even weird homeschoolers deserve a good Christmas, so here are some gift ideas to help you out!

  1. The Iliad and Odyssey in the original ancient Greek: For fun translation time with friends!
  2. A brand new shirt: But they still have to sew it themselves.
  3. 9th sibling: No homeschooled child should have to settle for 8!
  4. A book of small words: To help them learn how to talk to all the illiterate kids their own age.
  5. Shiny new garden hoe: Makes harvesting the zucchini much easier!
  6. Neck pillow: For those long, semi-annual van rides to Ken Ham's "The Ark Encounter"
  7. World Book Encyclopedia: With all the sex and anatomy stuff blacked out with a marker. A small price to pay for purity!
  8. A real haircut: Supercuts does a much better job than Mom. What a treat!
  9. "The Talk": As long as they're at least 20 years old.
  10. Tickets for their first secular concert: Switchfoot!

    And that's it! Merry Christmas and have fun shopping for your home-educated geniuses!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Santa’s Sleigh Mistakenly Shot Down By Ukrainian Missile Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Dad Arrives At Vacant Lot Where Mall Used To Be To Begin His Christmas Shopping


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

"Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is a foolish man, full of foolish and vapid ideas," former Governor Chris Christie complained.
Bureaucrats believe they set policy for spending taxpayer dollars usurping the directions of elected officials.
would allow civil lawsuit against judge if released criminal causes harm
"This highly provocative move was designed to interfere with our counter narco-terror operations."

HbAD1

Charlie Kirk, 31 years of age, who was renowned as one of the most important and influential college speakers /Leaders in many decades; founder of Turning Point USA, has been shot dead at Utah Valley University.
The Trump administration took actions against Harvard related to the anti-Israel protests that roiled its campus.
In remembrance of the day that will forever seer the concept of 'evil' in our minds, let's look back at that fateful morning, exactly 11 years ago today to that series of horrific events which unfolded before our unbelieving eyes......

HbAD2

faced 25 years in prison for "misgendering" a leftie tranny politician
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
It was a clear beautiful, royal blue sky day on Wall Street. The S & P futures were up markedly, awaiting a positive open, as I turn to get my first cup of coffee. I return to CNBC to get the morning business news, when I notice that the S & P futures are falling, and they're falling fast.
conservative youth leader was victim of political assassination
Harvard University is once again sending its students on delegations to China

HbAD3

In addition, Sheikha Al-Thani has "taken to promoting Mamdani’s mayoral candidacy on social media, boosting news of favorable polling on Instagram"
President Donald J. Trump slammed failed Governor Roy Cooper's soft-on-crime agenda that led to the tragic murder of Ukrainian refugee, Iryna Zarutska, by a career criminal in North Carolina.
“I wish I never tried experimenting with either. Don’t let your kids smoke weed or change gender until they are like seventeen.”
For this particular Hollywood love story, there was no girl bossing, no modern twists, no glorification of living in sin forever.
National attention is intensifying after the gruesome murder of a Ukrainian refugee on a Charlotte light rail on Aug. 22.

HbAD4

 
Back to Top