Colin Kaepernick Sues Adoptive Parents For $21 Million In Reparations | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     Beloved Football superstar Colin Kaepernick has announced he will be suing his white parents for the cruel act of adopting him into a white family without his consent. Kaepernick's legal team announced he is seeking $21 million in reparations from the couple.

    "The damage done to our client by growing up in a loving household under two white parents is incalculable," said Attorney Jim Grifton outside the law offices of Grifton & Grift, LLC to members of the press. "Having a present father, living in the suburbs, and being kept safe from gang violence deprived him of the black American experience to which his skin color entitles him. We demand his parents pay the reparations they owe him as white oppressors.

    Kaepernick's parents have yet to comment, having supported his stands for racial justice as well as the first 18 years of his life, but insiders say they are struggling with his public denouncement of their parenting. "Rick and Teresa will continue to be supportive of their son but are surprised he would sue them for their mistakes, or seek more reparations when they gave him a weekly reparation of $20 his entire young life," said friends of the family.

    At publishing time, Colin Kaepernick had announced a new book addressing the racist and insensitive foods his mother cooked for him. A slot has already been reserved on the New York Times bestseller list during the release week.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )



Comments

Big Bob said:
( March 25th, 2023 @ 8:40 pm )
 
One would hope!
( March 24th, 2023 @ 3:39 pm )
 
Big Bob, the reason some don't get the satire is because they obviously do not do the research.

As soon as one reads one of the BB titles, they should have maybe a few questions, or a reaction that this is not funny, or this is funny, to this is hilarious.
Big Bob said:
( March 24th, 2023 @ 3:27 pm )
 
Stan, I love how you often remind people that the Babylon Bee is satire. I wonder how many internalize each piece while doing their own "research" I bet it's a lot. I bet it gets quoted as gospel more times than you would think. Bhahahaha
( March 24th, 2023 @ 10:27 am )
 
Just a reminder to everyone, Babylon Bee, while attached to each subject by a varying thread of truth, is completely satire.

I find many of these posts hilarious, and that is why I worked out a relationship with the guys and gals at the Babylon Bee to be included on Eastern NC NOW.
Big Bob said:
( March 24th, 2023 @ 9:36 am )
 
There are some things you just cant take away.Truth, dignity and respect are very hard to "take"away.
( March 23rd, 2023 @ 11:32 am )
 
This ingrate should have everything he has taken away, and made to live in the hood.
Mema said:
( March 23rd, 2023 @ 12:26 am )
 
I'm very sure there would have been plenty of children who would have given anything to be in a loving home.



Man Struggling To Feed Family Just Glad He Could Help Bail Out Bank Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Hillary Clinton Posts Condolences For Tucker Carlson's Suicide This Coming Tuesday


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

After suffering a record-tying 28th straight loss, basketball fans across the country and the other 29 NBA teams voted unanimously to demote the Detroit Pistons to the WNBA.
David Draiman, the lead singer of the heavy metal band Disturbed, paused in the middle of a concert to give an impassioned speech about Israel, saying of Hamas’ claims that they were “freedom fighters,” “Freedom fighters, my f***ing a**.”
The North Carolina Supreme Court heard arguments recently in a lawsuit brought by The Society for the Historical Preservation of the 26th North Carolina Troops against the City of Asheville over the removal of a monument
Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has secured a spot on the ballots in Arizona and Georgia, according to the political action committee backing his White House bid.
Like many other states, the North Carolina has received a lot of money from the federal government to address the impacts of the corona virus pandemic.
A local wife began training to join her regional women's hockey team when she discovered the grand prize for winners of the National Hockey League is a Stanley Cup.
it is time to prosecture them for election interference

HbAD1

A Chinese national was detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement after the bust of a massive marijuana operation in rural south Georgia last week.
Felon voting advocates argue in a new court filing that North Carolina's new election law should have no impact on their federal lawsuit.
That is one that was stopped how many weren't stopped
The game show “Jeopardy!,” in which gives contestants must give answers in the form of a question, embraced the woke agenda by including so-called “neo-pronouns” as an answer.
City employing all-of-government effort aimed at finding work for illegal immigrants, emails indicate
Embattled former New York Congressman George Santos has landed on his feet following his ouster from the U.S. House of Representatives, with the announcement that he has been hired as a fact-checker at The New York Times.
Former President Donald Trump won Michigan’s Republican Party presidential primary on Tuesday night, beating former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley by more than 30 points.

HbAD2

New York City Democrat Mayor Eric Adams said this week that illegal alien crime in the city is getting so bad, officials need to look at modifying the city’s sanctuary status so that local law enforcement can cooperate with federal immigration officials to deport violent criminals.
On Thursday, Nov. 2, a group of protesters blocked the Durham Freeway (NC-147), the main artery through Durham and a major connector for the Research Triangle area, during rush hour.
The Tennessee state House passed a bill on Monday that would prohibit the flying of any flag other than the American flag and a few other official flags in public school classrooms, legislation that was sparked by the prevalence of pride flags in recent years.
The Democrat Party remains fractured under Joe Biden. In recent days, the embarrassments of Super Tuesday have continued.
Iranian-backed Houthi terrorists have reportedly destroyed underwater cables between Europe and Asia, causing serious communication disruptions between the two continents.
With news of still more lewd U.S. Congress incidents circulating, a local man reported a mysterious encounter he had in which God agreed to spare the nation's capital from divine destruction if He finds just 10 congressional staffers who have not filmed a gay sex tape in the Capit
Tech giant Apple has reportedly ended its decade-long pursuit to enter the electric vehicle market after spending billions of dollars on the effort known as Project Titan.
US District Judge William Osteen heard nearly three hours of arguments Thursday in state Supreme Court Justice Anita Earls' lawsuit against the North Carolina Judicial Standards Commission.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top