Colin Kaepernick Sues Adoptive Parents For $21 Million In Reparations | Eastern North Carolina Now

Beloved Football superstar Colin Kaepernick has announced he will be suing his white parents for the cruel act of adopting him into a white family without his consent. Kaepernick's legal team announced he is seeking $21 million in reparations from the couple.

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    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     Beloved Football superstar Colin Kaepernick has announced he will be suing his white parents for the cruel act of adopting him into a white family without his consent. Kaepernick's legal team announced he is seeking $21 million in reparations from the couple.

    "The damage done to our client by growing up in a loving household under two white parents is incalculable," said Attorney Jim Grifton outside the law offices of Grifton & Grift, LLC to members of the press. "Having a present father, living in the suburbs, and being kept safe from gang violence deprived him of the black American experience to which his skin color entitles him. We demand his parents pay the reparations they owe him as white oppressors.

    Kaepernick's parents have yet to comment, having supported his stands for racial justice as well as the first 18 years of his life, but insiders say they are struggling with his public denouncement of their parenting. "Rick and Teresa will continue to be supportive of their son but are surprised he would sue them for their mistakes, or seek more reparations when they gave him a weekly reparation of $20 his entire young life," said friends of the family.

    At publishing time, Colin Kaepernick had announced a new book addressing the racist and insensitive foods his mother cooked for him. A slot has already been reserved on the New York Times bestseller list during the release week.
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Comments

Big Bob said:
( March 25th, 2023 @ 8:40 pm )
 
One would hope!
( March 24th, 2023 @ 3:39 pm )
 
Big Bob, the reason some don't get the satire is because they obviously do not do the research.

As soon as one reads one of the BB titles, they should have maybe a few questions, or a reaction that this is not funny, or this is funny, to this is hilarious.
Big Bob said:
( March 24th, 2023 @ 3:27 pm )
 
Stan, I love how you often remind people that the Babylon Bee is satire. I wonder how many internalize each piece while doing their own "research" I bet it's a lot. I bet it gets quoted as gospel more times than you would think. Bhahahaha
( March 24th, 2023 @ 10:27 am )
 
Just a reminder to everyone, Babylon Bee, while attached to each subject by a varying thread of truth, is completely satire.

I find many of these posts hilarious, and that is why I worked out a relationship with the guys and gals at the Babylon Bee to be included on Eastern NC NOW.
Big Bob said:
( March 24th, 2023 @ 9:36 am )
 
There are some things you just cant take away.Truth, dignity and respect are very hard to "take"away.
( March 23rd, 2023 @ 11:32 am )
 
This ingrate should have everything he has taken away, and made to live in the hood.
Mema said:
( March 23rd, 2023 @ 12:26 am )
 
I'm very sure there would have been plenty of children who would have given anything to be in a loving home.



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