Sad: Xi And Putin Unable To Broker Ceasefire As Neither Has Read 'The Art Of The Deal' | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    MOSCOW     China's Xi Jinping and Russia's Vladimir Putin have held a summit in Moscow, but negotiations have slowed to a standstill. Analysts say this is because neither has yet finished Donald J. Trump's masterful tome on all things related to negotiation: The Art Of The Deal.

    "From their limp handshake to their poor time management, to their complete and total indifference to the principles of leverage, as outlined in The Art Of The Deal, these two have displayed none of the most valuable qualities in a strong negotiator. Sad!" Former President Donald Trump took to his social media app TRUTH Social to share his commentary on the stalled peace talks, blaming the intractable world leaders for failing to deliver wins for their respective countries, both of which he projects will "lose bigly."

    Trump's playbook for negotiating maintained a number one position on the New York Times bestseller list for over 10 weeks upon its release and is widely considered to be the most practical book for master deal-makers. Xi's and Putin's illiteracy of what experts call "The Negotiator's Bible" proved to be a dangerous experiment in brinkmanship, with experts calling the meeting "the closest the world has come to the apocalypse since the Cuban Missile Crisis."

    At publishing time, both Xi and Putin had still failed to use body language, the powerful "power steeple" hand gesture, and even a basic knowledge of checking their emotions at the door as outlined early in The Art Of The Deal, and neither is expected to get the deal done. Not good!