U.K. Sports Update: FC Worchestmanster Scrubs GKC United In Stunning Rout Squib To Nil | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ENGLAND     Raucous hooligans turned over dustbins and downed celebratory bangers and mash after FC Worchestmanster scrubbed GKC United.

    "Every bloke on the pitch was bloody brilliant," said FC Worchestmanster manager Ridgewell Robinson. "It's fish and chips tonight, lads,"

    The match started with a daft play by goalkeeper Dudley O'Hoolihan that nearly brought an early score, leaving home fans gobsmacked. "The back line was dodgy at the start - still knackered from our last match at Leicesterham," said Robinson. "Forward gave a cheeky challenge, and we almost had a cock-up! Resulted in a bit of a kerfuffle, but we kept our heads and really earned our biscuits".

    After halftime, GKC United nearly equalized when the stopper was caught faffing around. "Blimey, it was close!" said striker Willhelm Williams. "Finish was rubbish, though. Home fans will be chuffed tonight, those nutters."

    Next week, FC Worchestmanster will take their meatloaf on the road to face AC Wolverpool, which is sure to be the dog's bollocks.