Spooked By Fireworks, Biden Pees On Carpet, Disappears In The Woods Behind The White House | Eastern NC Now

The president is missing! A source confirmed late Tuesday night that President Biden, apparently spooked by Independence Day fireworks, piddled on a rug before bolting in terror into the woods behind the White House.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, DC     The president is missing! A source confirmed late Tuesday night that President Biden, apparently spooked by Independence Day fireworks, piddled on a rug before bolting in terror into the woods behind the White House.

    The anonymous source said Jill forgot to lock Joe in his crate before the fireworks started, causing him to startle at the loud noise. "He started running in circles, then he peed all over the rug in the bedroom and made a break for it through an open kitchen door," the source said.

    "Unfortunately, the President's son Hunter left the back gate open, as he was meeting with a pharmaceutical representative in the alley out back," the source added. "The President bolted off into the woods and hasn't been seen since!"

    Authorities say the missing president has a fondness for sniffing hair and is particularly friendly with children. However, he is very old and fragile and should not be approached. "If you see him, please don't chase him," said White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "Remember, he's approximately 560 in dog years."

    In addition to putting out traps baited with ice cream, Secret Service agents spent the night combing the woods for any sign of the President. At publishing time, the only thing they found was Vice President Kamala Harris in the woods with a large stockpile of spent fireworks.
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Comments

( August 31st, 2023 @ 9:40 am )
 
If you believe that, Norma, you must think Biden has saved us money on our gas and groceries. Reality says otherwise.
( August 30th, 2023 @ 10:05 pm )
 
It often is a wise choice to to disrespect the disrespected. Ly'n' Joe Biden is one such character that deserves such respect, or to be more accurate lack thereof.
( August 30th, 2023 @ 3:57 pm )
 
Yes Rrkeng: These contributions from the Babylon Bee are satire, and mostly funny to hilarious. The rest of our efforts are just truth telling to the best of our ability.
Somebody said:
( August 30th, 2023 @ 3:12 pm )
 
His he safe to handle his business
Rrkeng said:
( August 30th, 2023 @ 2:42 pm )
 
This is a satire site! I thought it was hilarious!😂🤣😂🤣
Norma said:
( August 30th, 2023 @ 2:42 pm )
 
I like Biden. He'll save us money on our rxes. The orange blob insurrectionist, on the other hand, should be made fun of. Baby who can't accept he lost the election.
Vixon said:
( August 30th, 2023 @ 1:32 pm )
 
I don't think what you did of the president is funny at all. It's rude and disrespectful



Dad Unsure Why He Should Take Family To Free Fireworks Extravaganza When He Can Do Five-Minute Show In Driveway For $800 Babylon Bee, Editorials, Somebody's Laughing, Op-Ed & Politics, The Arts Godless Commie Only Does Sparklers On Fourth Of July


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