10 Most Popular Religions In The U.S. | Eastern North Carolina Now

The United States is a land of freedom — freedom of speech (unless you're in public), freedom of the press (unless you're conservative), and the freedom to bear arms (unless you're in New Mexico).

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The United States is a land of freedom - freedom of speech (unless you're in public), freedom of the press (unless you're conservative), and the freedom to bear arms (unless you're in New Mexico). Another bedrock here in America is the freedom of religion, where if you don't want to believe in the truth of Jesus, there are plenty of other options! Here we have collected the most up-to-date list of our country's ten most popular religions:

  1. True crime podcasts: The favored religion of literally every married white woman in the country.
  2. Pickleball: Adherents can be heard practicing their unbelievably loud sacred rituals at all hours of the night.
  3. Gluten-Freeism: A remarkably evangelical bunch, these believers are known for being easily-offended and chronically gassy.
  4. Swiftism: Devotees are willing to sell their homes, lose family members, and take extreme vows of poverty to worship a goddess known as Taylor Swift.
  5. Hating Donald Trump: Membership in this faith exploded shortly before 2016 and is currently experiencing a resurgence.
  6. Loving Donald Trump: Membership in this faith exploded shortly before 2016 and is currently experiencing a resurgence.
  7. Latvian Orthodox: Surprise! These guys are everywhere, just hiding in plain sight.
  8. Tiny Dogs: Worshipped by millions of women and a few effeminate males, tiny dog disciples neglect all human relations in favor of spending all their time, money and social media presence honoring a small canine.
  9. Ukrainism: One of the more "hot" religions going today, this faith requires new converts to send all their money overseas.
  10. Fauci-ism: Though beginning to dwindle, this faith exploded in 2020, with followers known for keeping their faces permanently covered and injecting themselves with experimental chemicals. Weird!

    There you have it - a virtual cornucopia of religions sweeping through the United States. If only there were a faith centered on one, true, omnipotent Being that could take the place of everything on this list!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Trump Says There Are 'Very Fine People On Both Sides' Of Baby Murder Issue Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics AG Garland's Impartiality Questioned Due To Conspicuous 'Kill Trump' Tattoo On Forehead


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Democrat strategist James Carville raged against the legacy media this week, demanding that they take an even more biased approach when reporting on former President Donald Trump.
Dominion Voting Systems to incorrectly calculate vote totals
Stopping its attempt to rewrite Title IX to force Texas schools to adopt radical “transgender” policies
Republican congressman Byron Donalds said it would be a “great honor” if former President Donald Trump were to ask him to be his running-mate for 2024, saying the ultimate goal is for Trump to win and he’ll do whatever he’s asked to help him do that.

HbAD1

weaponized political FBI needs major reform or replacement
2019, 40 Democrats signed a letter saying they condemned the Nazi Azov Battalion in Ukraine
Voters in Arizona will have the opportunity to enact broad border security measures in November as the state faces a flood of illegal immigration after the Republican-led state legislature passed a resolution that will put the measures on the general election ballot.
51 ex-spies lies to the American people threw the 2020 election
The former White House physician for Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump says that a new report this week about how President Joe Biden is struggling to function behind closed doors represents a serious threat to the U.S.
The Tikva Forum for Families of Hostages, an Israeli group created to represent the families of those taken during Hamas’ October 7 terrorist attack, urged President Joe Biden to stop interfering with Israel’s campaign to destroy the terrorist group.
how the Democrats set up the January 6 riot at the Capitol

HbAD2

this is why the left is now attacking Supreme Court justices
Addiction is not just a physical issue, it is also deeply spiritual
told to let all single males just walk in excpet for 6 countries
After saying the six-foot social distancing guideline during the COVID-19 pandemic “sort of just appeared,” Dr. Anthony Fauci on Monday testified that his statement had been “distorted” and that it “actually” came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Accepting the unacceptable makes the unacceptable acceptable
combined traditional conservatives and populist conservatives win majority for first time
The state Supreme Court has agreed to hear one of two pending cases involving North Carolina bar owners challenging Gov. Roy Cooper's COVID-related shutdowns in 2020.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top