10 Most Popular Religions In The U.S. | Eastern North Carolina Now

The United States is a land of freedom — freedom of speech (unless you're in public), freedom of the press (unless you're conservative), and the freedom to bear arms (unless you're in New Mexico).

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The United States is a land of freedom - freedom of speech (unless you're in public), freedom of the press (unless you're conservative), and the freedom to bear arms (unless you're in New Mexico). Another bedrock here in America is the freedom of religion, where if you don't want to believe in the truth of Jesus, there are plenty of other options! Here we have collected the most up-to-date list of our country's ten most popular religions:

  1. True crime podcasts: The favored religion of literally every married white woman in the country.
  2. Pickleball: Adherents can be heard practicing their unbelievably loud sacred rituals at all hours of the night.
  3. Gluten-Freeism: A remarkably evangelical bunch, these believers are known for being easily-offended and chronically gassy.
  4. Swiftism: Devotees are willing to sell their homes, lose family members, and take extreme vows of poverty to worship a goddess known as Taylor Swift.
  5. Hating Donald Trump: Membership in this faith exploded shortly before 2016 and is currently experiencing a resurgence.
  6. Loving Donald Trump: Membership in this faith exploded shortly before 2016 and is currently experiencing a resurgence.
  7. Latvian Orthodox: Surprise! These guys are everywhere, just hiding in plain sight.
  8. Tiny Dogs: Worshipped by millions of women and a few effeminate males, tiny dog disciples neglect all human relations in favor of spending all their time, money and social media presence honoring a small canine.
  9. Ukrainism: One of the more "hot" religions going today, this faith requires new converts to send all their money overseas.
  10. Fauci-ism: Though beginning to dwindle, this faith exploded in 2020, with followers known for keeping their faces permanently covered and injecting themselves with experimental chemicals. Weird!

    There you have it - a virtual cornucopia of religions sweeping through the United States. If only there were a faith centered on one, true, omnipotent Being that could take the place of everything on this list!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Trump Says There Are 'Very Fine People On Both Sides' Of Baby Murder Issue Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics AG Garland's Impartiality Questioned Due To Conspicuous 'Kill Trump' Tattoo On Forehead


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

comes a week after British Supreme Court rules that there are only two genders
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
protects environment against climate grifters who want to industrialize the ocieans

HbAD1

Cheeseman was the man in charge,school board a joke
criminal referral sent to DOJ from Federal Housing Finance Agency
This Thursday April 17 at 6:00 PM at King Chicken Restaurant.
Observations Related to Questions Posed By Ray Leary Regarding the Closure of the Snowden School

HbAD2

"We do not want TikTok to ‘go dark.’ We look forward to working with TikTok and China to close the Deal."
the cheap way to get the interlopers out of the country

HbAD3

 
Back to Top