9 Best Times To Light Up A Cigar

Latest Polls (view all)

Now that Kamala Harris has been coronated the Democratic Socialist designee for nomination as their candidate for President of these United States, after that political party's contrived primary process "democratically" elected Joseph R. Biden: What are your feelings about this party's progressive posture within their self-styled exercise of "Saving Democracy for America," and how truly critical the outcome of this presidential election will be?

8.7% I am ecstatic that this "Democracy's" First partially Black, First partially Indian, First female Co-Parent, and this nation's primary necessity is to her elect our First woman president.

26.09% I really do not care about all these "Firsts." I will continue to pray, and work for this Representative Republic to elect someone competent, and brilliantly patriotic to be our next president.

65.22% I will never vote for any politician that "first" does not have the core values to understand how dire this Constitutional Republic's situation has become.

Click Here to Vote
23 Vote(s)

View all Polls

Published: Monday, February 12th, 2024 @ 9:22 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Studies have shown that there is never a "bad" time to fire up a cigar, but there are some instances when it's just more enjoyable or impactful than others.

    To enhance your smoking experience, The Babylon Bee offers up the following list of best times to light up your cigar:

While catching your newborn son as he's delivered: You deserve it, Dad!
Pre-cigar cigar: Gotta warm up your lungs for the main event.
Chillin' with the boys on your Higgins boat getting ready to storm Juno Beach: Those Nazis called down the thunder, and now they've got it.
Post-cigar cigar: Cool down from your smoking experience with a nice, calming cigar.
In the middle of an important work meeting about appropriate workplace behavior: They'll know who's really in charge.
Bottom of the 9th, World Series, coming up to the plate with 2 outs and you're the winning run: Smoke it all the way around the bases after you crush a homer, then put it out on home plate.
While shirtless and mowing down an entire platoon of South American mercenaries with an M60 machine gun: Once you're done, get to the chopper!
When you go on an angry tirade to your newspaper staff about that no-good pest Spider-Man: You can finally show the entire city what a menace that guy is if that lazy Peter Parker would ever get you a decent photograph of him.
While your wife says "I think you smoke too many cigars": Once she sees how cool and relaxed you feel lighting up your next cigar right in front of her, she'll be totally cool with it.

As you can see, while any time is a good time to light up, some moments are just tailor-made for it. Now, get out there, find yourself one of these common life experiences, and start puffing away.

Go Back