Mormon Family Proud OINKs (One Income Nine Kids) | Eastern North Carolina Now

IOWA CITY, IA — On the other end of the spectrum from "DINK" (Dual Income No Kids) families, local Mormon parents Logan and Stacy Jensen have proudly claimed the rare title of "OINKs", meaning a family with one income and nine kids.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    IOWA CITY, IA     On the other end of the spectrum from "DINK" (Dual Income No Kids) families, local Mormon parents Logan and Stacy Jensen have proudly claimed the rare title of "OINKs", meaning a family with one income and nine kids.

    "We're just living the OINK dream," said Stacy. "Our lives overflow with life, laughter, and Costco peanut butter. It's a beautiful thing."

    According to sources, the couple had considered stopping at eight kids, but the term OIEK just did not make any sense. "It doesn't roll off the tongue at all," said Logan. "We're so thankful we had what's-her-face and made it to OINK-land."

    In a recent phenomenon, thousands of DINK couples have begun spending their days posting videos online assuring everyone how happy they are. "Haha I am so happy, here is a video to show you how happy I am," said Anthony Foster, one half of a local DINK couple. "If you don't believe me, I will spend tomorrow recording even more video messages proving to the world that I am so, so happy. Haha! Look at this smile!"

    Though a rarity in modern culture, sociologists say OINKs were quite common up until a few decades ago. "In some sense, in the traditional subsistence farming culture, most families were 'NINKs' - meaning no income and nine kids," explained sociologist Amy McGrath. "During the Great Depression, we saw TINKs as wives and children were forced into the workforce, creating three-income families. In years past, being a DINK by choice would have been a shameful thing. The stability of NINKs can devolve to TINKs, but no one ever imagined it would lead to DINKs."

    At publishing time, the Jensen family had sat down to a greater feast of blessing than any voluntary DINK could ever imagine.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

eastern NC may need FEMA - we need Trump back to set it straight
unattended ballot drop boxes were always a dump idea by the Democrats
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic

HbAD1

election interference by leftwing Google-owned YouTube
early voting being suppressed in Republican areas: RNC lodges official complaint
both traditional and populist parties of the right gain seats
Speedway imposes huge price hike while oil prices are falling nationally

HbAD2

We don't recommend that you "just vote." We recommend you vote right.
hand out flyers calling for defeat of state amendment that would outlaaw voting by foreigners

HbAD3

 
Back to Top