'Wow, What A Great Cigar,' Says Man About To Vomit His Guts Into A Trash Can | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    PALM BEACH, FL     According to sources, local man Chet Bivley is enjoying a cigar with his friends at the local cigar lounge and has just mentioned how much he loves it, despite the fact that he will soon be puking all his guts out into a trash can.

    "Wow, what a great cigar," said Bivley, who, at the end of the night, will be emptying the entire contents of his stomach with a series of miserable heaves. "I sure do enjoy stogies with the boys!"

    Sources familiar with the situation say Bivley often blows chunks after smoking a cigar, but still continues to smoke them with friends in order to fit in. "He tries very hard to pretend he enjoys them," said one anonymous source.

    "Mmmmm, I just can't get enough of this, um robust Nicaraguan wrapper," said Bivley while spitting little pieces of tobacco out of his mouth. "It has a nice robust flavor with notes of, um, wood and stuff. Yeah. Um, is there a bathroom in here?"

    At publishing time, Bivley was vomiting in the restroom as his friends laughed at him, despite the fact that they would also soon be puking their guts out.