'Commence The Invasion,' Orders President Xi After Seeing Video Of Tap Dancing Flowers In The White House | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     After viewing Jill Biden's newly-released holiday video, Chinese President Xi ordered the total ground invasion of the United States. According to sources, it was the dancing flower man who finally forced Xi's hand.

    "I've seen enough," said Xi as the video of a garishly dressed man in a onesie with a purple flower atop his head shimmied on the screen in front of him. "America must not be allowed to survive. This weed must be culled."

    "And what are these costumes, anyway? Why do all the dancers have those terrifying looks on their faces? Are they on that fentanyl we keep sending them?"

    American civilians are reportedly eager to get the Chinese invasion and subsequent occupation over with. "Beats Biden's America," said local farmer Jim Jorbin of Kansas. "And the Chinese seem to know a great deal about self-respect and honor. Maybe it's better this way."

    At publishing time, all 535 members of Congress unanimously voted to impeach President Biden for the horrifying video.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

Boston Mayor Hires Bouncer To Check Skin Color Outside Of Entrance To Holiday Party Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Man Takes Wife On Date To Very Expensive Restaurant Only To Find McFlurry Machine Broken


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

6 month olld baby fighting for life after mother killed; policewoman finally arrives, shoots knifeman
Far-left Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was mocked online late on Monday after video of her yelling at pro-Palestinian activists went viral.
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro, along with hosts Matt Walsh, Andrew Klavan, and company co-founder Jeremy Boreing discussed the state of the 2024 presidential election before President Joe Biden gave his State of the Union address on Thursday.
Lots of elements that have to be dug up with heavy fossil fuel vehicles
Yet again we see the truth in the ole saying, once the camel gets his head under the test ain't no tellin what he will do next


joins West Virginia and Montana in ending Renewable Portfolio standards
good Washington Examiner analysis, but where is RNC on pushing back on this issue?
220 migrants storm border, assault border guards, but all are turned back
. . as feds continue to coverup manifesto of trans shooter at Covenant School
Former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley said this week that the criminal trials against former President Donald Trump should happen before the upcoming elections.
NOAA fabricates temperature data for more than 30 percent of the 1,218 USHCN reporting stations that no longer exist


Stalin Show Trials by Democrats are the real attack on democracy
Vice President Kamala Harris ignored recommendations while attorney general of California to investigate an alleged pyramid scheme at a company linked to her husband, according to documents obtained by The New York Post.
sovereigntists / nationalists already control Slovak parliament
Democrat ticket is to the left of even liberal Roy Cooper
Is it not obvious that the dumb rules are not improving the environment, except the bank accounts of the rich
In response to the growing outcry over tens of thousands of migrants illegally flooding into the United States, President Joe Biden deployed federal agents to the southern border to help block journalists' cameras.


Back to Top