Colorado Supreme Court Demands Jack Phillips Bake Cake To Celebrate Trump Ruling | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    DENVER, CO     In a 4-3 decision, the Colorado Supreme Court will require Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips must bake a celebration cake honoring the Colorado Supreme Court's decision to remove Trump from the ballot.

    "The cake must have the words 'Dump Trump' in giant red letters," said Justice Richard Gabriel in his opinion. "No wait - have it say DRUMPF! HA! Classic. And put some little rainbow flags and Palestinian flags all over it. It is the opinion of the court that failure to bake this cake for us constitutes illegal discrimination."

    Justice Gabriel then banged his gavel loudly to make it official.

    "Oh, and it should be chocolate. With buttercream frosting and sprinkles. It's the law now because I said it."

    The court will give Phillips one week to comply with the ruling or be faced with a mob of Antifa activists throwing bricks outside his shop. "Please don't hurt me!" cried a shaking Jack Phillips. "And please spare my windows! I just replaced them after last week's mob!"

    At publishing time, Jack Phillips' legal team had confirmed they would be appealing the decision.
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( March 10th, 2024 @ 5:37 pm )
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