10 Great Things You Can Do With Babies Instead Of Aborting Them | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Many people seem to not know this, but there are some really wonderful things about babies, and all you have to do is keep them alive to find out for yourself.

    Still skeptical? The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of great things you can do with little babies instead of aborting them:

  1. Dress them up in hilarious costumes: There are few things better than watching a tiny, clumsy person dressed as a chicken.
  2. Arm wrestle them and watch them marvel at your extraordinary might: You know you could use the confidence boost.
  3. Make them giggle and feel the infinite well of joy bubble over within your immortal soul: You haven't truly experienced life until you make your child laugh.
  4. Absolutely destroy them at Mario Kart: There may not be a more solemn duty for a parent.
  5. Put little tiny baby shoes on them: Awwww!! WIDDLE TINY BABY SHOOOOOOOOOES!
  6. Use them to drive in the carpool lane: Nothing wrong with cutting down on travel time a little bit.
  7. Give them cool names like "Samwise" or "Frodo": Just don't go overboard with "Meriadoc."
  8. Tell them to pull your finger: Ha! Classic!
  9. See how high you can toss them in the air: Still unclear who enjoys this more, Dad or baby.
  10. Discover eternal purpose and meaning in your own life as you watch them discover piece by piece the beauty and grandeur of the universe: An easy, simple way to find reason in your existence.

    Don't those sound like amazing reasons? What are you waiting for? Go get married and have some babies!
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