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Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
 
After losing much of his personal wealth, his children, his physical health, and his reputation among his friends, witnesses report local patriarch Job had finally lost the will to live after discovering his cell phone had died.
After losing much of his personal wealth, his children, his physical health, and his reputation among his friends, witnesses report local patriarch Job had finally lost the will to live after discovering his cell phone had died.
 
Local man Alex McCarthy has reported high levels of well-being, with his career trajectory, family life, and leadership in his church and community all on an upward trajectory.
Local man Alex McCarthy has reported high levels of well-being, with his career trajectory, family life, and leadership in his church and community all on an upward trajectory.
 
After Sunday evening's blowout loss to the Padres, Mets manager Buck Showalter held a press conference in which he complained that their team faces "an unfair disadvantage by virtue of the fact that our organization is much, much worse than all the other teams."
After Sunday evening's blowout loss to the Padres, Mets manager Buck Showalter held a press conference in which he complained that their team faces "an unfair disadvantage by virtue of the fact that our organization is much, much worse than all the other teams."
 
As we approach the 2014 vote, the PR stunts, dirty tricksters, and other political slimeballs will start oozing out of the woodwork.
As we approach the 2014 vote, the PR stunts, dirty tricksters, and other political slimeballs will start oozing out of the woodwork.
 
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