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A local couple's first night out together in months got off to a rocky start, as a man took his wife out to dinner at a very expensive restaurant only to be left disappointed after learning the McFlurry machine was broken.
A local couple's first night out together in months got off to a rocky start, as a man took his wife out to dinner at a very expensive restaurant only to be left disappointed after learning the McFlurry machine was broken.
 
Against all logic, a local wife somehow avoided feelings of unbridled passion after her husband sat her down to listen to a podcast of Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson talking in depth about sex.
Against all logic, a local wife somehow avoided feelings of unbridled passion after her husband sat her down to listen to a podcast of Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson talking in depth about sex.
 
A local marriage is reportedly on the rocks after a woman expressed a desire to go on more dates with her husband, apparently forgetting he just took her to Costco yesterday.
A local marriage is reportedly on the rocks after a woman expressed a desire to go on more dates with her husband, apparently forgetting he just took her to Costco yesterday.
 
The Babylon Bee has officially announced its person of the year: housewife Christina Meyers, 34, of Boise Idaho.
The Babylon Bee has officially announced its person of the year: housewife Christina Meyers, 34, of Boise Idaho.
 
FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.
FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.
 
When your wife is screaming like crazy as your progeny prepares to burst forth from her loins, it can be a bit hard to know what to say! Here is a handy list you can consult of the seven most helpful things to say to your wife while she is in labor:
When your wife is screaming like crazy as your progeny prepares to burst forth from her loins, it can be a bit hard to know what to say! Here is a handy list you can consult of the seven most helpful things to say to your wife while she is in labor:
 
Marriage experts now confirm that a husband reminding his wife that the Bible says she should submit to him leads to the happiest marriages.
Marriage experts now confirm that a husband reminding his wife that the Bible says she should submit to him leads to the happiest marriages.
 
It's that time of year once again…but is it really? With stores putting out their Christmas decorations earlier and earlier every year, it's easy for some people to get swept up in the yuletide cheer way too much and way too soon.
It's that time of year once again…but is it really? With stores putting out their Christmas decorations earlier and earlier every year, it's easy for some people to get swept up in the yuletide cheer way too much and way too soon.
 
A rescue team was able to locate and extract a local man who had been buried after inadvertently triggering a massive avalanche of his wife's bottles from a shelf in the shower. A fire department spokesman, however, said the man remains hospitalized.
A rescue team was able to locate and extract a local man who had been buried after inadvertently triggering a massive avalanche of his wife's bottles from a shelf in the shower. A fire department spokesman, however, said the man remains hospitalized.
 
Sylvester Stallone‘s wife Jennifer Flavin said she’s really glad she and her husband moved out of California because she needed a change and to live a “totally different lifestyle” that they have found in Florida.
Sylvester Stallone‘s wife Jennifer Flavin said she’s really glad she and her husband moved out of California because she needed a change and to live a “totally different lifestyle” that they have found in Florida.
 
It's that time of year, men! It's time to gather up all the love and appreciation you feel for your wife all year long and make a last-minute trip to the Walgreens down on the corner to buy her the perfect Christmas gift.
It's that time of year, men! It's time to gather up all the love and appreciation you feel for your wife all year long and make a last-minute trip to the Walgreens down on the corner to buy her the perfect Christmas gift.
 
California Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom’s wife reportedly ended the Fox News debate on Thursday night between Newsom and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.
California Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom’s wife reportedly ended the Fox News debate on Thursday night between Newsom and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.
 
According to sources, a local couple has settled in for a romantic evening of sitting down next to each other and sending memes back and forth.
According to sources, a local couple has settled in for a romantic evening of sitting down next to each other and sending memes back and forth.
 
Many on social media these days are talking about the trend of "Tradwives", a totally new concept where women marry, have kids, take care of those kids, love their husbands, and engage in traditional home-making tasks.
Many on social media these days are talking about the trend of "Tradwives", a totally new concept where women marry, have kids, take care of those kids, love their husbands, and engage in traditional home-making tasks.
 
A hot new blanket is flying off the shelves and into the laps of women across the country thanks in part to its unique ability to light itself on fire.
A hot new blanket is flying off the shelves and into the laps of women across the country thanks in part to its unique ability to light itself on fire.
 
Local woman Kelly Reese somehow remained completely unmoved today despite her husband Tom reciting every single word from the Lord of The Rings movies from memory.
Local woman Kelly Reese somehow remained completely unmoved today despite her husband Tom reciting every single word from the Lord of The Rings movies from memory.
 
Federal grant expands midwifery care for North Carolina
Federal grant expands midwifery care for North Carolina
 
Tragedy struck the Christofferson household this weekend when wife Hailey ignorantly sipped water that was neither filtered, remineralized, nor served in her 640 oz Stanley™ micro tumbler, causing her to die instantly.
Tragedy struck the Christofferson household this weekend when wife Hailey ignorantly sipped water that was neither filtered, remineralized, nor served in her 640 oz Stanley™ micro tumbler, causing her to die instantly.
 
When asked about the viral social media topic, former Vice President Mike Pence told reporters that he refuses to think about the Roman Empire unless his wife is present.
When asked about the viral social media topic, former Vice President Mike Pence told reporters that he refuses to think about the Roman Empire unless his wife is present.
 
What began as a pleasant weekend evening in the Belnap household quickly soured due to husband Lance's relational ineptitude. Trisha had grown frustrated that he did not realize she wanted him to be quiet and also talk to her and also leave her alone and also come and talk to her.
What began as a pleasant weekend evening in the Belnap household quickly soured due to husband Lance's relational ineptitude. Trisha had grown frustrated that he did not realize she wanted him to be quiet and also talk to her and also leave her alone and also come and talk to her.
 
Local wife Margo Gerfman was seen scrolling through Zillow listings in search of ideal 20-acre farms up for sale after having planted, grown, and harvested a bountiful apron full of three tomatoes.
Local wife Margo Gerfman was seen scrolling through Zillow listings in search of ideal 20-acre farms up for sale after having planted, grown, and harvested a bountiful apron full of three tomatoes.
 
After you get married, it's common for the flame of love to cool, with each spouse eventually reaching the point of using the toilet with the bathroom door open, wearing nothing but sweatpants around the house, and finding deep-seated flaws in the way each other breathes.
After you get married, it's common for the flame of love to cool, with each spouse eventually reaching the point of using the toilet with the bathroom door open, wearing nothing but sweatpants around the house, and finding deep-seated flaws in the way each other breathes.
 
It's that "special time" of the month, your wife has that crazy look in her eyes, and you know your next words could be your last. What do you say?
It's that "special time" of the month, your wife has that crazy look in her eyes, and you know your next words could be your last. What do you say?
 
We've all been there - surveying a scratch on the side of the car, or a missing hubcap, and wondering - who the heck drove last? Here are 9 clues that your wife was the last one behind the wheel:
We've all been there - surveying a scratch on the side of the car, or a missing hubcap, and wondering - who the heck drove last? Here are 9 clues that your wife was the last one behind the wheel:
 
So-called conservative man Ross Jennings was caught hiding in the closet this morning eating avocado toast.
So-called conservative man Ross Jennings was caught hiding in the closet this morning eating avocado toast.
 
It's that time again, wives of sportsball fans! It's time for your husbands to break out their football jerseys and for you to constantly ask them millions of important questions while the game is on.
It's that time again, wives of sportsball fans! It's time for your husbands to break out their football jerseys and for you to constantly ask them millions of important questions while the game is on.
 
Shoppers observed a woman frantically buying up all pumpkin-shaped kitchen items at a local Home Goods store this week after falling for the oldest "You Have This But It's Not Shaped Like An Adorable Fall Pumpkin" marketing trick in the book.
Shoppers observed a woman frantically buying up all pumpkin-shaped kitchen items at a local Home Goods store this week after falling for the oldest "You Have This But It's Not Shaped Like An Adorable Fall Pumpkin" marketing trick in the book.
 
As record heat swept across the southern United States in recent weeks, suburban housewives were quick to seize upon brief periods when the temperature briefly dipped just below 100 degrees to break out their voluminous amounts of fall decorations.
As record heat swept across the southern United States in recent weeks, suburban housewives were quick to seize upon brief periods when the temperature briefly dipped just below 100 degrees to break out their voluminous amounts of fall decorations.
 
VENTURA, CA — A local wife and shades-aficionado lost her sunglasses Monday, then found them, then lost them, then found them, then finally…lost them again. Wait a minute, there they are.
VENTURA, CA — A local wife and shades-aficionado lost her sunglasses Monday, then found them, then lost them, then found them, then finally…lost them again. Wait a minute, there they are.
 
Local man Brad Snyder has long maintained that yoga pants are too revealing and thus sinful, but today his wife tried a pair on and, well, something changed inside Mr. Snyder.
Local man Brad Snyder has long maintained that yoga pants are too revealing and thus sinful, but today his wife tried a pair on and, well, something changed inside Mr. Snyder.
 
As heavy rains began pouring down upon the landscape, sending thousands of people scattering in terror, Noah's wife placed a series of stick figure decals on the back of the ark, according to sources.
As heavy rains began pouring down upon the landscape, sending thousands of people scattering in terror, Noah's wife placed a series of stick figure decals on the back of the ark, according to sources.
 
A new survey of single men has found that the number one qualification they look for in a wife is "someone who will shout at and fight off the invisible lizard people on the plane who aren't real," sources confirmed Monday.
A new survey of single men has found that the number one qualification they look for in a wife is "someone who will shout at and fight off the invisible lizard people on the plane who aren't real," sources confirmed Monday.
 
According to Bible scholars, Noah's wife was repeatedly forced to shout at him to stop posing himself atop the prow of the Ark and bellowing, "I'm THE KING OF THE WORLD!"
According to Bible scholars, Noah's wife was repeatedly forced to shout at him to stop posing himself atop the prow of the Ark and bellowing, "I'm THE KING OF THE WORLD!"
 
Local patriarch Methuselah spent yet another frustrating day threshing his grain after his wife once again brought up a big argument they had 741 years ago, leading the couple into an uncomfortable silence.
Local patriarch Methuselah spent yet another frustrating day threshing his grain after his wife once again brought up a big argument they had 741 years ago, leading the couple into an uncomfortable silence.
 
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