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Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) reportedly had priests perform an “exorcism” on her home after her husband Paul was attacked with a hammer by an alleged intruder.
Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) reportedly had priests perform an “exorcism” on her home after her husband Paul was attacked with a hammer by an alleged intruder.
 
Local wife Victoria Crab phoned her husband in the early evening Thursday to see if he could run by the store real quick on his way home from work so he could grab a couple thousand items.
Local wife Victoria Crab phoned her husband in the early evening Thursday to see if he could run by the store real quick on his way home from work so he could grab a couple thousand items.
 
Local man Jeremy Clams became bedridden Tuesday after a flu virus brutally assaulted his body with a sore throat, coughing, some body aches, and even a mild fever.
Local man Jeremy Clams became bedridden Tuesday after a flu virus brutally assaulted his body with a sore throat, coughing, some body aches, and even a mild fever.
 
Witnesses reported that the Gerbison household was in an unpleasant state after the dumb oaf of a husband, Gill, assumed he could use the bathroom's hand towels to dry his hands.
Witnesses reported that the Gerbison household was in an unpleasant state after the dumb oaf of a husband, Gill, assumed he could use the bathroom's hand towels to dry his hands.
 
Local woman Amber Rhodes suddenly snapped out of a deep, seven-month coma today, at the exact moment her husband booted up his PlayStation.
Local woman Amber Rhodes suddenly snapped out of a deep, seven-month coma today, at the exact moment her husband booted up his PlayStation.
 
Is your husband cheating on you? We here at the Babylon Bee hate marital infidelity, so we consulted marriage experts to learn all the troubling signs to look for when a man isn't being faithful.
Is your husband cheating on you? We here at the Babylon Bee hate marital infidelity, so we consulted marriage experts to learn all the troubling signs to look for when a man isn't being faithful.
 
After years of struggling to purchase his wife the right gift for Christmas, one local man started listening in October for ideas. His attentiveness gave him the idea of buying his wife a new, rechargeable vacuum
After years of struggling to purchase his wife the right gift for Christmas, one local man started listening in October for ideas. His attentiveness gave him the idea of buying his wife a new, rechargeable vacuum
 
Local husband and useless idiot Virgil Marlo met with disaster Monday after placing throw pillows on the bed in the wrong order. The clueless husband had attempted to tidy up after knocking the pillows on the floor.
Local husband and useless idiot Virgil Marlo met with disaster Monday after placing throw pillows on the bed in the wrong order. The clueless husband had attempted to tidy up after knocking the pillows on the floor.
 
A family was brought to the brink of tragedy today as a local woman began making funeral arrangements for her husband when he failed to respond to her text message within 13 seconds.
A family was brought to the brink of tragedy today as a local woman began making funeral arrangements for her husband when he failed to respond to her text message within 13 seconds.
 
A minimum of 35 pieces of tape is needed to successfully wrap a gift, husband scientists said Monday. The surprise announcement was made by representatives of the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) just in time for the holiday season.
A minimum of 35 pieces of tape is needed to successfully wrap a gift, husband scientists said Monday. The surprise announcement was made by representatives of the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) just in time for the holiday season.
 
Local husband Terry McGerry was seen beaming with confidence as he waited in line at the department store checkout, having picked out the wrong Christmas present for his wife weeks earlier than usual.
Local husband Terry McGerry was seen beaming with confidence as he waited in line at the department store checkout, having picked out the wrong Christmas present for his wife weeks earlier than usual.
 
A local man found cause for great concern this week when he discovered Amazon was moving forward with plans to build a distribution hub located in his front yard.
A local man found cause for great concern this week when he discovered Amazon was moving forward with plans to build a distribution hub located in his front yard.
 
After a bruising campaign and a protracted process of tabulating results, local man Mike Vaughan's wife has gained control of the house in a slim but decisive majority of 1 vote per wife and 1 vote per husband.
After a bruising campaign and a protracted process of tabulating results, local man Mike Vaughan's wife has gained control of the house in a slim but decisive majority of 1 vote per wife and 1 vote per husband.
 
Multiple sources have confirmed that local man Dan Zilph's Instagram account exists solely to wish his wife "happy birthday" every year.
Multiple sources have confirmed that local man Dan Zilph's Instagram account exists solely to wish his wife "happy birthday" every year.
 
According to sources close to local man Greg Bernard, the construction sales representative, husband, and father of five often makes cracks about how emotional and moody his wife is
According to sources close to local man Greg Bernard, the construction sales representative, husband, and father of five often makes cracks about how emotional and moody his wife is
 
Local Woman Francine Guacmeister faked another headache after her husband Allen suggested going up to the bedroom for a romantic night of watching the Lord of the Rings Motion Picture Trilogy: Extended Edition.
Local Woman Francine Guacmeister faked another headache after her husband Allen suggested going up to the bedroom for a romantic night of watching the Lord of the Rings Motion Picture Trilogy: Extended Edition.
 
Local man Alex McIlvaine stumbled upon the brilliant idea today of adding a little sign to his cigar humidor that reads "Smokeable essential oils."
Local man Alex McIlvaine stumbled upon the brilliant idea today of adding a little sign to his cigar humidor that reads "Smokeable essential oils."
 
During a powerful Sunday sermon delivered by her pastor, a local woman has come under deep spiritual conviction that her husband really needs to repent of his sins.
During a powerful Sunday sermon delivered by her pastor, a local woman has come under deep spiritual conviction that her husband really needs to repent of his sins.
 
A local man has achieved the unthinkable and miraculously arrived home on time and in good health despite not having his wife with him in the car to provide constant safe driving instructions.
A local man has achieved the unthinkable and miraculously arrived home on time and in good health despite not having his wife with him in the car to provide constant safe driving instructions.
 
Local husband Spencer Johnson has been given a life sentence of going to the pumpkin patch every year with his wife Megan.
Local husband Spencer Johnson has been given a life sentence of going to the pumpkin patch every year with his wife Megan.
 
Date night for Madilynn and Murphy McMickerson started off just like every other date night when Madilynn told the server she would just have a light salad followed by her husband's entire entree.
Date night for Madilynn and Murphy McMickerson started off just like every other date night when Madilynn told the server she would just have a light salad followed by her husband's entire entree.
 
Local man Terrence Bilkerson successfully transitioned into a woman recently after taking his wife's multivitamin. The transition occurred instantly after he grabbed the wrong bottle of vitamins
Local man Terrence Bilkerson successfully transitioned into a woman recently after taking his wife's multivitamin. The transition occurred instantly after he grabbed the wrong bottle of vitamins
 
Supermodel Gisele Bündchen recently opened up about her husband Tom Brady coming out of retirement and returning to the NFL.
Supermodel Gisele Bündchen recently opened up about her husband Tom Brady coming out of retirement and returning to the NFL.
 
According to sources, local husband Brad Sanders has completely emptied the dishwasher without any prompting from his wife in hopes that she'll be cool with him watching 19 hours of football this weekend.
According to sources, local husband Brad Sanders has completely emptied the dishwasher without any prompting from his wife in hopes that she'll be cool with him watching 19 hours of football this weekend.
 
It's a tale that's all too common for marriages these days: things seem to be going great, with love and romance in the air, when suddenly, the husband begins to withdraw.
It's a tale that's all too common for marriages these days: things seem to be going great, with love and romance in the air, when suddenly, the husband begins to withdraw.
 
Local woman Sabrina McKenzie asked her husband to please go on an epic quest of mythologic proportions, since he was already up anyways to go to the bathroom.
Local woman Sabrina McKenzie asked her husband to please go on an epic quest of mythologic proportions, since he was already up anyways to go to the bathroom.
 
Local man Alex Gleitz began wondering today if he ought to perhaps do the dishes, having found himself eating Honey Nut Cheerios out of a flower vase.
Local man Alex Gleitz began wondering today if he ought to perhaps do the dishes, having found himself eating Honey Nut Cheerios out of a flower vase.
 
According to sources, local woman Grace Barton committed to reveal her most recent Target receipt to her husband by noon today, but when she submitted the document, almost every word and line item on the receipt was redacted with a thick black bar.
According to sources, local woman Grace Barton committed to reveal her most recent Target receipt to her husband by noon today, but when she submitted the document, almost every word and line item on the receipt was redacted with a thick black bar.
 
Local wife and mother of three Hannah Baxter was tired of constantly reminding her husband, Brad, to put his socks in the dirty clothes hamper.
Local wife and mother of three Hannah Baxter was tired of constantly reminding her husband, Brad, to put his socks in the dirty clothes hamper.
 
We at The Babylon Bee want to help de-code common marital communications between the spouses, whether it's helping husbands know whether their wives are mad at them or helping wives to understand the mixed signals, coded messages, and confounding double-speak from the complicated creatures
We at The Babylon Bee want to help de-code common marital communications between the spouses, whether it's helping husbands know whether their wives are mad at them or helping wives to understand the mixed signals, coded messages, and confounding double-speak from the complicated creatures
 
Paul Pelosi was slurring his words and smelled strongly of booze after wrecking his Porsche in May, according to a police complaint filed ahead of the House Speaker’s husband’s arraignment Wednesday.
Paul Pelosi was slurring his words and smelled strongly of booze after wrecking his Porsche in May, according to a police complaint filed ahead of the House Speaker’s husband’s arraignment Wednesday.
 
This week, Courtney Lindeen presented her husband Aaron with a bold and innovative plan to solve the family's consumer debt burden.
This week, Courtney Lindeen presented her husband Aaron with a bold and innovative plan to solve the family's consumer debt burden.
 
After finding herself unnecessarily upset about a thoughtful critique from her husband regarding her shoe collection and a dearth of closet space, dutiful wife Clarissa Zwygart was able to calm down after her husband wisely counseled her to calm down.
After finding herself unnecessarily upset about a thoughtful critique from her husband regarding her shoe collection and a dearth of closet space, dutiful wife Clarissa Zwygart was able to calm down after her husband wisely counseled her to calm down.
 
A Maryland woman told police that she shot her husband at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in Washington D.C. Thursday because she heard that he had allegedly molested children at the daycare she runs near Baltimore, according to an arrest affidavit filed in a D.C. court.
A Maryland woman told police that she shot her husband at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in Washington D.C. Thursday because she heard that he had allegedly molested children at the daycare she runs near Baltimore, according to an arrest affidavit filed in a D.C. court.
 
According to sources, local married couple Keith and Rebecca Powell can't decide what they want to eat for dinner, and have each decided to ask one another what they want for dinner over and over until they both starve.
According to sources, local married couple Keith and Rebecca Powell can't decide what they want to eat for dinner, and have each decided to ask one another what they want for dinner over and over until they both starve.
 
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could be poised to cash in upcoming legislation meant to bolster the U.S. semiconductor industry, after her husband exercised shares worth as much as $5 million in a California company that stands to reap subsidies.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could be poised to cash in upcoming legislation meant to bolster the U.S. semiconductor industry, after her husband exercised shares worth as much as $5 million in a California company that stands to reap subsidies.
 
Husband scientists employed with the Smithsonian Institution have discovered a strange basket holding dirty clothes, and so far are completely baffled by where it came from or what its use could be.
Husband scientists employed with the Smithsonian Institution have discovered a strange basket holding dirty clothes, and so far are completely baffled by where it came from or what its use could be.
 
Local husband and father Hank Parsons stopped by the grocery store today on the way home "to pick up a few steaks to ruin for dinner," sources at the Parsons household confirmed.
Local husband and father Hank Parsons stopped by the grocery store today on the way home "to pick up a few steaks to ruin for dinner," sources at the Parsons household confirmed.
 
The director of Texas’ Department of Public Safety revealed this week that the police officer husband of a slain Robb Elementary School teacher was detained and disarmed when he tried to enter the school to save his wife.
The director of Texas’ Department of Public Safety revealed this week that the police officer husband of a slain Robb Elementary School teacher was detained and disarmed when he tried to enter the school to save his wife.
 
Local law enforcement officials in California have released the mugshot of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) husband, Paul Pelosi, from his DUI arrest late last month.
Local law enforcement officials in California have released the mugshot of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) husband, Paul Pelosi, from his DUI arrest late last month.
 
The Meebleton family was enjoying their Sunday morning tradition of burning pancakes and spilling the syrup when husband, Ron, did his part to get the family ready for church by shouting, "Kids, it's time to get ready for church!"
The Meebleton family was enjoying their Sunday morning tradition of burning pancakes and spilling the syrup when husband, Ron, did his part to get the family ready for church by shouting, "Kids, it's time to get ready for church!"
 
Local husband Justin Buble was "totally blindsided" by an event his wife only told him about every day for the past month, sources at the Buble household confirmed this afternoon.
Local husband Justin Buble was "totally blindsided" by an event his wife only told him about every day for the past month, sources at the Buble household confirmed this afternoon.
 
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