7 Best Things To Say While Your Wife Is In Labor | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    When your wife is screaming like crazy as your progeny prepares to burst forth from her loins, it can be a bit hard to know what to say! Here is a handy list you can consult of the seven most helpful things to say to your wife while she is in labor:

1. "Eve really screwed this up for you ladies, huh?": It always helps to remember pain is a consequence of sin.
2. "All this blood is making me woozy, I need to lay down": Laying in a hospital bed next to her will let her know she's not alone.
3. "My mom is here to video": Your wife will cherish this memory for a lifetime.
4. "I'm sorry the epidural didn't work, but I believe in you": Words of affirmation go a long way in moments like these.
5. "I'm almost to the hospital, the drive-through was super slow": Your thoughtfulness in stopping for tacos will give her the strength to continue.
6. "Just think, we'll do this five more times!": Imagining all of your future children together will give her the perfect image to focus on.
7. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault": When all else fails, this is the winner.

    With this list handy, the trial of labor will be easier for both of you! Congrats on the new baby!