The Near Occaisions of Sin | Eastern NC Now

    As a Catholic Educated Catholic in the process of being Catholically Educated, the Nuns tried very hard to get me to understand how I needed to avoid the Near Occasions of Sin. It was not until very recently that I fully realized how hard it is to avoid such occasions.

    Last month my newspaper told me about one of my fellow Georgians who stole a Krispy Kreme Donut Truck. He and his sticky fingers and sticky steering wheel were eventually caught but not before he had been the leader of a protracted high speed chase.

    I decided to look up my fellow Georgian's high speed chase on the Internet and found that there have been other Krispy Kreme Truck Hijackings in other places throughout the Good Ole USofA...

    •  Madison, WI on 11/24/07
    •  Tampa, FL on 5/11/11
    •  San Antonio, TX on 1/6/12

    I don't think the nuns would be too harsh on anyone who stole a Krispy Kreme Truck. I always found Catholic Nuns to be very understanding (except when one of their students tried to write left handed).

    They would have seen right away that these hijackers probably did not put themselves in the Near Occasion of Sin. Those trucks were driven to where these weak willed hungry people were minding their own business and all of a sudden there was the Near Occasion of Scrumptious Sin parked right in front of them. It was not their faults that Krispy Kremes are so irresistibly delicious.

    Our Federal Government ought to get involved. They ought to make Krispy Kreme take out some of the Scrumptiousness. Exactly how much, you ask? I would not be so bold as to impose my own opinion on the Donut Industry because they have always tried so hard to make us happy...and fat.

    I do think that a Congressional Blue Ribbon Panel ought to be appointed to come with the 3 R's (Right Removal Requirements).

    We all know that this is going to take time because the Congressional Blue Ribbon Panel will need at least 10 years of donut sampling and many trips to the Krispy Kreme Factories in Hawaii and the South of France before they can arrive at the Proper Scrumptiousness Removal Determination.

    Seriously, this is getting to be serious. First we lost Twinkies and now a yet to be determined amount of Scrumptiousness is going to be removed from Krispy Kremes.

    Actually I really do not care about any of this. On the other hand, if they start hijacking Cannoli Trucks, then you would certainly see me write a letter to my Congressman.

    Would I kid u?
    Smartfella