I Suffered Another Catastrophic Blowout Last Night | Eastern NC Now

    Hello, Surf Reporters! Last night I blew the full and utter ass out of another pair of my jeans. It was a catastrophic blowout and you can take a look at the carnage HERE. The thing that always bothers me? In addition to the obvious concerns surrounding the fact that my ass repeatedly explodes heavy denim? It's that I don't always know when it happened.

    Last night, for instance. I stopped to buy gas on my way home from work, and got out and noticed that my pants felt looser than normal. That fact registered, slightly, but not enough to raise any major concerns. But when I felt cold wind blowing down my left leg I knew something was wrong. Yep, a giant rip alongside one of the back pockets, as usual. That's where the butt-breach always occurs. But how long had I been walking around that way? There was no spectacular explosion, I didn't even realize it had happened. Was I at work (maybe for hours?) with my sweet pantied ass hanging out?!

    This is no good. Something needs to happen already. Steps must be taken to stop this from occurring again and again. The repeated shredding of thick fabrics must come to an end! Sure, I could probably drop a few pounds and it might help. But that sounds unpleasant. No, I'm going to have to start looking for a brand of jeans that can stand up to the onslaught. The problem? I'm very particular about the feel and fit. It's not going to be pleasant. Wish me luck, my friends.

    I only worked three days this week and it felt like eight. Why does that happen? Days off at the beginning of a week seem to hurt more than they help. Also, I had 889 emails when I returned on Wednesday. And that's boolshit. It took me a day and a half to get that under control. But the weekend is finally here. Almost.

    Toney returned safely from Myrtle Beach. She got to spend a couple of days with Nancy by the sea. But she'll be home this weekend, which is good. When she's gone things feel off-kilter. When I'm gone... I suspect the kilter remains status quo. But not with her. I'm glad she's home.

    I need to go to work now. Have a great weekend, and enjoy the nuggets of ridiculousness I've provided below. Oh, there are no shortage of nuggets.

    See you guys again soon.

    Thanks for being a part of this!