21 Greatest Benefits Of Becoming A Dad | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Fathers are the forgotten heroes of this world. Mothers get all the glory (and with good reason!) but there are still some great benefits to being a dad. For example, free hugs whenever you want!

    Here are more great benefits for your consideration:

• Each one has a small chance of becoming a rock star or incredible athlete and you'll never have to work again.
• You can wear cargo shorts and white New Balance sneakers just like you always wanted to.
• Every year your children will pay you tribute with the finest artisan macaroni art and a fresh pack of socks.
• You can finally own a puppy against your will.
• Have you ever wanted to read the same short book 10,000 times? Now you can!
• Does your wife hate your jokes? The kids won't.
• You have an excuse to play through all your old favorite video games.
• You get to implement a dad tax on all Halloween candy.
• You can have in-depth conversations about what the best dinosaur is.
• You'll feel like a warrior king as you defeat all of them simultaneously in a wrestling match.
• You're the smartest person alive for 11 years, then "a total drag" for 7, then the smartest person alive again.
• Have you ever wanted to be a horsey? Boy, will you be in heaven!
• You have your own personal chiropractor as your kids jump all over your back.
• You can introduce them to your favorite childhood movies only for them to say, "This is boring."
• You can pawn off the chores your wife gave you onto the kids.
• You get to buy a full arsenal of Nerf guns "for the kids."
• Have 3 kids to make a full squad in Call of Duty: Warzone, 5 kids to have your own D&D party, or 18 and you can play baseball in the backyard!
• Several little creatures will think you are a god at Super Smash Bros.
• You can stack three of them up in a trench coat to cause various mischiefs.
• Watching your 3-year-old daughter run across the lawn in a dress carrying a doll will make you believe in the goodness of God.
• They will turn your pathetic, self-centered little life into one full of beauty and meaning.