Don Lemon Says His New Job As CNN's Janitor Is Not A Demotion | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK CITY     Newly demoted CNN employee Don Lemon says his new role as CNN's Third Shift Janitor should not be viewed as a demotion because he "gets a really cool key that gives him special access to every room in the building."

    "I am proud to announce that CNN has seen fit to promote me to Janitor," said Lemon on his last evening news broadcast. "I thank CNN for putting their trust in my abilities and I accept this very important responsibility."

    According to sources, the former prime-time news anchor was engaged in a lengthy debate with a hot dog vendor on West 33rd Street during his 4 AM lunch break.

    "They need me," argued the former prime-time news anchor. "Who else are they going to trust with all these chemicals?"

    Juan Perro, a local entrepreneur who sells hot dogs with or without relish, shrugged. "If you say so," he replied.

    "And I get a nifty uniform with a name badge!" Lemon said proudly. "Most of the anchors just wear boring suits."

    The humble hot dog vendor quickly became uninterested in the conversation. "You still owe me moneys for the hot dog," he said, changing the subject.

    Witnesses claim Lemon grumbled and refused to pay, saying that he could not believe "Putin's price hike" had come for hot dogs.

    UPDATE: Lemon has been let go from his janitor position after CNN discovered he actually could not be trusted with the chemicals.

poll#128

Where do you stand on the wanton censorship by Big Tech Platforms, while retaining their Section 230 carveout indemnifying them for Slander /Defamation lawsuits and Copyright infringements?

  Big Tech Platforms have the right to Censor all speech providing they voluntarily relinquish their Section 230 Carveout.

  Big Tech Platforms DO NOT have the right to Censor any speech, while retaining multiple indemnifications by virtue of the Section 230 Carveout.

  I know nothing of this 230 talk, but "I do love me some social media".

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poll#125

Since only about 20% of the News Media has any shred of Journalistic Integrity remaining: How does our Constitutional Republic continue without a "Free Press"?

  Demand real information, using real sources, backed up by facts.

  Promote real journalist entities only, and admonish those that prostitute their profession.

  We Democratic Socialists are doing just fine, thank-you, by promoting lies while having very little real knowledge about so much.

260 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?