12 Conservative Celebs Tell Us Their New Year's Resolutions | Eastern NC Now

We asked twelve conservative celebrities what their New Year's resolutions are. Several of them asked us how we got into their homes in the first place, but all of them gave us a thoughtful answer as we were being escorted out by security. Here's what they said:

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    We asked twelve conservative celebrities what their New Year's resolutions are. Several of them asked us how we got into their homes in the first place, but all of them gave us a thoughtful answer as we were being escorted out by security. Here's what they said:

  1. Ben Shapiro - Experience a human emotion for the first time.
  2. Jordan Peterson - Eat fewer fruits and vegetables.
  3. Candace Owens - Totally OWN 8 times as many socialists as she did in 2022.
  4. Matt Walsh - Find someone who can explain to him what a woman is.
  5. Steven Crowder - Find someone who can change his mind.
  6. Dennis Prager - Kick his bad habit of smoking 2 cigars a day, and smoke 3 cigars a day instead.
  7. Rush Limbaugh - Convince God to send him back down for at least the rest of the Biden years. Please, Lord...
  8. Sean Hannity - Touch the hem of Trump's garment.
  9. Mitt Romney - Oh, wait, sorry - this list was for conservatives.
  10. Elon Musk - Cut back to only fathering 17 new children this year.
  11. Tucker Carlson - Learn a new expression.
  12. The Babylon Bee - Come up with a third joke.

    Inspiring! What are your New Year's resolutions? Let us know in the comments!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Chaos Erupts As Twitter Introduces New 'Top 8 Friends' Feature Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Airports Forced To Hire Extra Security To Guard Thousands Of Stranded Bags From Sam Brinton


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

“They have never managed anything like this before, and it’s like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches coming out the sides."

HbAD1

illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
permanently blocks Trump's EO to require proof of citizenship to register to vote
In genetic mouse models mirroring human pancreatic cancer, diets rich in oleic acid sped up tumor growth.

HbAD2

climate alarmism was created as a political tool, largely by the UN
Three "Democrat Socialists of America" headed to Congress in safe Democrat districts

HbAD3

Democrat-run states have said they won’t send official delegations to the country’s 250th birthday bash
The North Carolina House unanimously passed the “Dominique Moody Safety Act,” advancing a child-welfare reform package named for the six-year-old girl whose death exposed repeated failures by Mecklenburg County social services officials to act on reports of abuse and neglect.
Maybe a holiday for Texas, but NOT the nation

HbAD4

 
 
Back to Top