Chaos Erupts As Twitter Introduces New 'Top 8 Friends' Feature | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO     Chaos erupted Monday after Twitter went live with a surprise new feature, which CEO Elon Musk called a "late Christmas present for twits everywhere." The new feature allows users to select a "top 8 friends" to feature prominently in their profile.

    What was intended as a fun feature has created unfounded bitterness and hate, resulting in unprecedented drama as users discover they are not as close friends with some people as they thought they were.

    Friends were destroyed, relationships were severed, and marriages were brought to their breaking point as Twitter users rushed to see whether or not they made their supposed friends' top lists.

    "What?! How did I not make Staci's top 8?!" screamed Los Angeles woman Brittney Hanfield as she checked to see if her BFF - well, her former BFF - had put her in the top slot. "Oh, it is so on. She's out of my top 8, and I'm replacing her with Chloe!"

    Twitter CEO Musk says the feature is "doing wonders" for engagement, with millions of users obsessively refreshing their friends' pages and spending hours arranging their own top 8 to subtly hint who their crushes are, who their good friends are, and who they've got beef with.

    Musk claims his self-esteem is now through the roof because he's on everyone's top friends list by default and cannot be removed.

poll#128
Where do you stand on the wanton censorship by Big Tech Platforms, while retaining their Section 230 carveout indemnifying them for Slander /Defamation lawsuits and Copyright infringements?
  Big Tech Platforms have the right to Censor all speech providing they voluntarily relinquish their Section 230 Carveout.
  Big Tech Platforms DO NOT have the right to Censor any speech, while retaining multiple indemnifications by virtue of the Section 230 Carveout.
  I know nothing of this 230 talk, but "I do love me some social media".
476 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




New Canadian Operation Game Just Has You Murder The Patient Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics 12 Conservative Celebs Tell Us Their New Year's Resolutions


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

The North Carolina Supreme Court heard arguments recently in a lawsuit brought by The Society for the Historical Preservation of the 26th North Carolina Troops against the City of Asheville over the removal of a monument
Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has secured a spot on the ballots in Arizona and Georgia, according to the political action committee backing his White House bid.
Like many other states, the North Carolina has received a lot of money from the federal government to address the impacts of the corona virus pandemic.
A local wife began training to join her regional women's hockey team when she discovered the grand prize for winners of the National Hockey League is a Stanley Cup.
it is time to prosecture them for election interference
A Chinese national was detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement after the bust of a massive marijuana operation in rural south Georgia last week.
Felon voting advocates argue in a new court filing that North Carolina's new election law should have no impact on their federal lawsuit.

HbAD1

That is one that was stopped how many weren't stopped
The game show “Jeopardy!,” in which gives contestants must give answers in the form of a question, embraced the woke agenda by including so-called “neo-pronouns” as an answer.
City employing all-of-government effort aimed at finding work for illegal immigrants, emails indicate
Embattled former New York Congressman George Santos has landed on his feet following his ouster from the U.S. House of Representatives, with the announcement that he has been hired as a fact-checker at The New York Times.
Former President Donald Trump won Michigan’s Republican Party presidential primary on Tuesday night, beating former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley by more than 30 points.
New York City Democrat Mayor Eric Adams said this week that illegal alien crime in the city is getting so bad, officials need to look at modifying the city’s sanctuary status so that local law enforcement can cooperate with federal immigration officials to deport violent criminals.
On Thursday, Nov. 2, a group of protesters blocked the Durham Freeway (NC-147), the main artery through Durham and a major connector for the Research Triangle area, during rush hour.

HbAD2

The Tennessee state House passed a bill on Monday that would prohibit the flying of any flag other than the American flag and a few other official flags in public school classrooms, legislation that was sparked by the prevalence of pride flags in recent years.
The Democrat Party remains fractured under Joe Biden. In recent days, the embarrassments of Super Tuesday have continued.
Iranian-backed Houthi terrorists have reportedly destroyed underwater cables between Europe and Asia, causing serious communication disruptions between the two continents.
With news of still more lewd U.S. Congress incidents circulating, a local man reported a mysterious encounter he had in which God agreed to spare the nation's capital from divine destruction if He finds just 10 congressional staffers who have not filmed a gay sex tape in the Capit
Tech giant Apple has reportedly ended its decade-long pursuit to enter the electric vehicle market after spending billions of dollars on the effort known as Project Titan.
US District Judge William Osteen heard nearly three hours of arguments Thursday in state Supreme Court Justice Anita Earls' lawsuit against the North Carolina Judicial Standards Commission.
Actor Gary Sinise delivered a glowing tribute to his late son, McCanna Anthony “Mac” Sinise, nearly two months after he died of chordoma, an extremely rare cancer that attacks the spine.
In a worldwide exclusive, The Babylon Bee has obtained a complete copy of disgraced billionaire Jeffrey Epstein's client list.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top