EXPOSED: 23 Foods And How Ron DeSantis Eats Them | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Florida Governor and presumptive 2024 Presidential candidate Ron DeSantis has faced increasing questions about his electability amid damning allegations that during a private flight in 2019, he found himself without a spoon and still proceeded to consume a pudding cup with 3 fingers. Horrifying!

    Here are 23 newly revealed DeSantis eating habits that may spell doom for his White House ambitions:

  1. String Cheese - chomps right into without even peeling off strings
  2. Raisin Bran - separates it and first eats one bowl of just raisins, then a bowl of just bran flakes
  3. Cheetos - crushes them up in his hands and licks them off
  4. Fish - tosses his head back and swallows it whole like a pelican
  5. Apple Juice - dips his shirt sleeves into the juice and wrings it out into his mouth
  6. Animal Crackers - pretends he's a giant devouring all the helpless creatures of the jungle
  7. Oreos - licks the frosting off, puts the cookies back into the package
  8. Pop Rocks - leans over next to your ear and opens his mouth
  9. French Fries - cracks them open to eat the insides like crab legs
  10. Chicken Nuggets - meticulously peels the skin off first
  11. Bugles - sticks them onto his fingers and pretends he's Wolverine
  12. Teddy Graham's - names them all and makes up little bear adventures for them to go on in Bearland
  13. Fun Dip - snorts it
  14. Oranges - tosses it down the hatch whole and unpeeled
  15. Apples - same as oranges
  16. Pizza - picks the toppings off with chopsticks and then slurps the cheese off
  17. PB&J - uses the same knife in both peanut butter & jelly jars, licks off in between applications
  18. Hamburger - takes a bite then squirts the condiments in his mouth
  19. Sushi - politely uses a fork and knife
  20. Rice - raw, one grain at a time, chewed like sunflower seeds
  21. Chicken Wings - crunches down the whole thing, swallows the bone
  22. Subway - nothing weird here, just the fact that he eats Subway
  23. Alphabet Soup - rearranges the letters to spell out "President Ron DeSantis"

    And that's it. Before he could even get started, DeSantis was finished. It was nice knowing you, Ron!
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

Fox News Ratings Plunge After Hiring Non-Blonde Anchor With No Cleavage Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Banks Begin Calling Customers To Ask For Loans


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

The most interesting candidate in the 2024 election has to be Democratic hopeful Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. – if not for his career path and family history, then for his willingness to buck the D.C. establishment narrative and attack The Uniparty.
57% of North Carolinians support legislation to prohibit abortions after the first trimester, with exceptions.
Former President Donald Trump’s social media company is seeking $3.78 billion in damages in a defamation lawsuit against The Washington Post for publishing “an egregious hit piece” earlier this month that accused the company of securities fraud and other wrongdoings.
A local little league baseball game was brought to a halt over the weekend after confusion arose over who the crowd was cheering.
The first Indiana Jones movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark, came out in 1981. Back then, Harrison Ford was 38.
Special provisions continue to thrive in North Carolina. The last biennium budget was loaded with special projects, and the forthcoming one may be no different.
The University of Minnesota was the subject of a civil rights complaint last week for enacting a research program that offers applicants a $6,000 stipend but is restricted to students of color.
South Carolina Republican Sen. Tim Scott announced his entry into the 2024 presidential election on Monday, smacking President Joe Biden while touting his own up-from-poverty story.


Amid incessant fears that Don Lemon may somehow find a way to return to his post at CNN, leadership at the satirical news organization took an unprecedented measure today and fired him for a second time, just to make sure.
One of the largest public state pension funds in the nation has routinely accepted shareholder resolution advice from a woke proxy advisory firm based in San Francisco
Special counsel John Durham‘s long-awaited report serves as a guide for how Congress can further investigate the Russiagate controversy, according to a top GOP lawmaker.
Local one year old Ryker Thomas has come under fire after appearing in blackface at his first birthday party.
Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) slammed ABC’s “The View” during a presidential campaign stop over the weekend in Iowa while announcing that he was going on the show this week.
Meta was slammed Monday by the European Union with a $1.3 billion fine and ordered to cease transferring user data to the United States over privacy concerns.
studies compare gender dysphoria patients for have surgery with those who have not
threatens cooling system of Europe's largest nuclear power plant


The NAACP Board of Directors issued a statement on Saturday warning black Americans that the state of Florida was not a safe place for them and included an official “travel advisory” calling the state “openly hostile” – but the board’s chairman, Leon Russell, apparently lives in Florida himself.
Children in grades K-3 in North Carolina have surpassed the rest of the nation when it comes to their early-literacy skills. That’s according to N.C. Superintendent of Public Instruction Catherine Truitt, who shared the news at Tuesday’s Council of State meeting.
Ty Cobb, a former White House lawyer for President Donald Trump, said that he believes that the former president will get convicted in the federal criminal investigation into his handling of classified materials and that he will ultimately go to prison over it.
After collecting twelve baskets of leftover food from Jesus' miraculous feeding of the five-thousand, the disciples asked the kid who brought fish and loaves if perhaps his mom could pack wings and nachos next time.
Climate eco-anarchists in Rome turned the Trevi Fountain water black on Sunday after pouring diluted charcoal into the pool during a staged protest against public funding for fossil fuels they claim caused a recent flood that killed 14 people in northeastern Italy.
The GOP-led House may have reached a breakthrough in its standoff with the FBI over a file believed to contain bribery allegations concerning President Joe Biden.
A bill that would ban transgender surgeries for minors in North Carolina was hurried through a House committee on Tuesday.


Back to Top