Newsom Touring The Country As Even He Can’t Stand Being In California Anymore | Eastern NC Now

California Governor Gavin Newsom made a surprise visit to Florida this week, as even he can't stand being in California anymore.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SARASOTA, FL     California Governor Gavin Newsom made a surprise visit to Florida this week, as even he can't stand being in California anymore.

    "It's so great to be among the great people of Florida, on the other side of the country, miles, and miles, and miles away from California," said Newsom to a group of college students who were being given class credit to show up. "I feel so sorry for you people living under DeSantis's tyranny, what with your clean sidewalks, safe neighborhoods, and beaches with no tent cities on them. So terrible!"

    "Say, do you think I could stay here for a couple more days or a year or two or three?"

    Inside sources say the governor was looking for any excuse to leave the hellhole he's been running for several years, and decided to get away for a few weeks under the guise of a nationwide tour of red states to see how terrible things are there.

    "Have you guys seen Ohio? You can walk on the sidewalk in your neighborhood without getting mugged!" said the Governor. "I stayed there for a whole week! It was awful!"

    At publishing time, Californians had been seen constructing a wall in hopes of preventing the Governor from returning.

poll#164
It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?
  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.
  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.
  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?
848 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Raytheon Unveils New Dylan Mulvaney-Branded Patriot Missile Babylon Bee, News Services, Editorials, Government, Op-Ed & Politics, State and Federal Bud Light Attempts To Win Back Christians With John MacArthur Edition


HbAD0

Latest State and Federal

A new poll data points to continuing trend among the next generation of the left.
Trump administration policies are bringing the country back from the brink of an uncontrolled influx of illegal immigrants.
Ozturk's detention became a flashpoint in President Trump's mass deportation campaign.
“President Trump has always been clear about short-term disruptions as a result of Operation Epic Fury."
Cheryl Hines. Dennis Quaid. Nicki Minaj. All became associated with the Trump administration. What happened next?
A federal grand jury in North Carolina has indicted former FBI Director James Comey on two charges related to making threats against President Donald Trump.
Their goal was simple: to put a Planned Parenthood in every mailbox in America.
Treasury officials allege these groups pose as humanitarian entities while covertly siphoning donations to Hamas.

HbAD1

President Donald Trump has publicly floated regime change and other aggressive actions toward Cuba.
With a new roadside plaque unveiled in Ellerbe on April 23, legendary wrestler and local resident André René Roussimoff is finally getting the formal recognition fans believe he deserves.
Following a string of attacks, critics are calling for denaturalizations. It's not that simple.
The solution is not to legalize the problem; it is to enforce the law consistently and deter future illegal immigration.
The teachers union is pushing to cancel school on May 1 as Chicago public schools continue to report dismal student proficiency rates.
Mission accomplished on sending inspiration from the dark side of the moon.
Two years ago, new media brought President Trump back to the White House. What happened?
Victims’ advocates, prosecutors, law enforcement officials, and families impacted by violent crime gathered Tuesday at the North Carolina State Archives building in Raleigh to recognize National Crime Victims’ Rights Week and honor those affected by crime across North Carolina.

HbAD2

The POLITICO poll found that almost half of respondents think Hollywood players should "be less vocal with their political beliefs."
"They help cultivate a radical hate America agenda, and we can't afford that same toxic ideology in America's War Department.”
Tax Day is a week away, and the reports are in: North Carolinians are winning big with record-setting tax returns thanks to President Trump and Republicans' Working Families Tax Cuts.
“It is a trust fund, a piece of the American economy for every child that they will be able to take out when they are 18.”
For most of her life, Zofia Cheeseman built her life and schedule around being a gymnast until a health scare forced her to look at her life off the mat.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top