Newsom Touring The Country As Even He Can’t Stand Being In California Anymore | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SARASOTA, FL     California Governor Gavin Newsom made a surprise visit to Florida this week, as even he can't stand being in California anymore.

    "It's so great to be among the great people of Florida, on the other side of the country, miles, and miles, and miles away from California," said Newsom to a group of college students who were being given class credit to show up. "I feel so sorry for you people living under DeSantis's tyranny, what with your clean sidewalks, safe neighborhoods, and beaches with no tent cities on them. So terrible!"

    "Say, do you think I could stay here for a couple more days or a year or two or three?"

    Inside sources say the governor was looking for any excuse to leave the hellhole he's been running for several years, and decided to get away for a few weeks under the guise of a nationwide tour of red states to see how terrible things are there.

    "Have you guys seen Ohio? You can walk on the sidewalk in your neighborhood without getting mugged!" said the Governor. "I stayed there for a whole week! It was awful!"

    At publishing time, Californians had been seen constructing a wall in hopes of preventing the Governor from returning.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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