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“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen – not only because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.” — C.S. Lewis
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen – not only because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.” — C.S. Lewis
 
If you've been to church lately, you have probably noticed that the so-called "order of worship" really serves as more of a vague set of suggestions. Here, we present to you a more realistic order of worship, in all its glory:
If you've been to church lately, you have probably noticed that the so-called "order of worship" really serves as more of a vague set of suggestions. Here, we present to you a more realistic order of worship, in all its glory:
 
Decides not to redefine Holy Matrimony in 'compromise' position.
 
The Second Baptist community was in shock last Sunday after setting a record for the shortest Black church service in history. The service, which lasted just four hours and fifty-two minutes, was led by the church's new pastor, Rev. Ralph Washington Jenkins.
The Second Baptist community was in shock last Sunday after setting a record for the shortest Black church service in history. The service, which lasted just four hours and fifty-two minutes, was led by the church's new pastor, Rev. Ralph Washington Jenkins.
 
One Catholic diocese is leading the charge against wokeism, insisting that students and worshippers use bathrooms and lockers consistent with their biological sex and banning the use of preferred pronouns in schools and parishes.
One Catholic diocese is leading the charge against wokeism, insisting that students and worshippers use bathrooms and lockers consistent with their biological sex and banning the use of preferred pronouns in schools and parishes.
 
Recently, Golden LEAF President, Chief Executive Officer Scott T. Hamilton sat down with North Carolina Tobacco Trust Fund Commission Executive Director William Upchurch via Zoom and filmed an episode of Critical Conversations.
Recently, Golden LEAF President, Chief Executive Officer Scott T. Hamilton sat down with North Carolina Tobacco Trust Fund Commission Executive Director William Upchurch via Zoom and filmed an episode of Critical Conversations.
 
Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor accused the conservative members of the court of working to “dismantle the wall of separation between church and state” in a blistering dissent released on Tuesday.
Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor accused the conservative members of the court of working to “dismantle the wall of separation between church and state” in a blistering dissent released on Tuesday.
 
COVID-19 and resulting restrictions didn’t just hit schools and businesses; many churches have been devastated by plummeting attendance and donations.
COVID-19 and resulting restrictions didn’t just hit schools and businesses; many churches have been devastated by plummeting attendance and donations.
 
The Christmas Story is a time honored celebration of our Lord and Savior's birth, even, especially, when it is witnessed through the eyes of the modern child.
The Christmas Story is a time honored celebration of our Lord and Savior's birth, even, especially, when it is witnessed through the eyes of the modern child.
 
The headquarters of Focus on the Family, a Christian parachurch organization, was vandalized Thursday following a mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Colorado.
The headquarters of Focus on the Family, a Christian parachurch organization, was vandalized Thursday following a mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Colorado.
 
A former Catholic priest plead guilty to obscenity charges Monday after desecrating his church altar with two dominatrices.
A former Catholic priest plead guilty to obscenity charges Monday after desecrating his church altar with two dominatrices.
 
It may have been a long time ago and probably today seems corny, but how many of you remember trying to sneak down to get a peek at Santa Claus.
It may have been a long time ago and probably today seems corny, but how many of you remember trying to sneak down to get a peek at Santa Claus.
 
The entire congregation of First Baptist Church Of Richmond is on edge this evening after it was discovered that Aiden has been allowed to hold a candle for the kid's choir rendition of "Silent Night."
The entire congregation of First Baptist Church Of Richmond is on edge this evening after it was discovered that Aiden has been allowed to hold a candle for the kid's choir rendition of "Silent Night."
 
Elders at the church in Corinth assembled their flock ahead of the Lord's day, excited to read a letter that had been delivered on behalf of the Apostle Paul.
Elders at the church in Corinth assembled their flock ahead of the Lord's day, excited to read a letter that had been delivered on behalf of the Apostle Paul.
 
Sen. Raphael Warnock’s church is a part of a leftist coalition that supports Critical Race Theory (CRT) and suggests the first slave ship’s arrival in the U.S. is as equally definitive founding event as the writing of the Declaration of Independence or Constitution.
Sen. Raphael Warnock’s church is a part of a leftist coalition that supports Critical Race Theory (CRT) and suggests the first slave ship’s arrival in the U.S. is as equally definitive founding event as the writing of the Declaration of Independence or Constitution.
 
In China, Christians can't openly worship the Lord because it's illegal. They have to meet in homes like the early Christians living under the reign of Nero. But in America, we have it so much worse!
In China, Christians can't openly worship the Lord because it's illegal. They have to meet in homes like the early Christians living under the reign of Nero. But in America, we have it so much worse!
 
A Pennsylvania man was sentenced to over 17 years in prison followed by a lifetime of supervised release for his involvement in a plot to bomb a Pittsburgh church.
A Pennsylvania man was sentenced to over 17 years in prison followed by a lifetime of supervised release for his involvement in a plot to bomb a Pittsburgh church.
 
Megachurch pastor Klive Fursteen has just delivered yet another hard-hitting, impassioned sermon where he couldn't help but get choked up during a particularly powerful point in the message.
Megachurch pastor Klive Fursteen has just delivered yet another hard-hitting, impassioned sermon where he couldn't help but get choked up during a particularly powerful point in the message.
 
Archaeologists have discovered glitter still hopelessly stuck in the carpet dating back to the first known Vacation Bible School in the year 150 A.D.
Archaeologists have discovered glitter still hopelessly stuck in the carpet dating back to the first known Vacation Bible School in the year 150 A.D.
 
A local church was thrown into an uproar over the weekend as one congregant was instantly turned into a pillar of salt after turning back to glare at what was later found to be a faultless and righteous sound man.
A local church was thrown into an uproar over the weekend as one congregant was instantly turned into a pillar of salt after turning back to glare at what was later found to be a faultless and righteous sound man.
 
A split in the United Methodist Church, North Carolina’s second largest religious denomination, has seemed increasingly likely the last few years, and now at least 260 churches in the state’s 779-church eastern conference, known as the N.C. Conference, have voted to disaffiliate or plan to next year
A split in the United Methodist Church, North Carolina’s second largest religious denomination, has seemed increasingly likely the last few years, and now at least 260 churches in the state’s 779-church eastern conference, known as the N.C. Conference, have voted to disaffiliate or plan to next year
 
Following months of silence regarding threats and attacks against churches and pro-life groups, legacy corporate media outlets have confirmed that the attack on Paul Pelosi warrants resuming coverage of political violence.
Following months of silence regarding threats and attacks against churches and pro-life groups, legacy corporate media outlets have confirmed that the attack on Paul Pelosi warrants resuming coverage of political violence.
 
MSNBC anchor Lawrence O’Donnell compared embattled Senate candidate John Fetterman (D-PA) to former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt during a recent monologue.
MSNBC anchor Lawrence O’Donnell compared embattled Senate candidate John Fetterman (D-PA) to former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt during a recent monologue.
 
In preparation for another grueling worship service, local pentecostal Sam Twibbins is loading up on a pre-workout concoction of whey protein, creatine, and beta-alanine for maximum gains and recovery.
In preparation for another grueling worship service, local pentecostal Sam Twibbins is loading up on a pre-workout concoction of whey protein, creatine, and beta-alanine for maximum gains and recovery.
 
Everyone knows the biggest sign of a spiritually healthy church is the number of 5-star Yelp reviews you have, but oh no! Your church has a 2-star average rating!
Everyone knows the biggest sign of a spiritually healthy church is the number of 5-star Yelp reviews you have, but oh no! Your church has a 2-star average rating!
 
If you've ever wondered if you should leave a church, wonder no more – The Babylon Bee is here to help! Here are 10 solid, biblically-defensible excuses for leaving a church that's not serving you enough:
If you've ever wondered if you should leave a church, wonder no more – The Babylon Bee is here to help! Here are 10 solid, biblically-defensible excuses for leaving a church that's not serving you enough:
 
A rescue party going through the wreckage formerly known as the "First Baptist Baton Rouge Nursery" found an ominous note scrawled out, warning that "they are coming."
A rescue party going through the wreckage formerly known as the "First Baptist Baton Rouge Nursery" found an ominous note scrawled out, warning that "they are coming."
 
While today's churches seem to have tons of positions and pastors for everything, in the Bible, there are only a few church offices outlined: elder, deacon, and sound guy.
While today's churches seem to have tons of positions and pastors for everything, in the Bible, there are only a few church offices outlined: elder, deacon, and sound guy.
 
Archeologists announced this month that they have discovered further evidence for the possible location of the home of two of Jesus’ Apostles.
Archeologists announced this month that they have discovered further evidence for the possible location of the home of two of Jesus’ Apostles.
 
Local man Alan Roddick skipped church this morning to go out for a nice brunch and spent the whole meal secretly judging all the heathens at the restaurant who don't go to church.
Local man Alan Roddick skipped church this morning to go out for a nice brunch and spent the whole meal secretly judging all the heathens at the restaurant who don't go to church.
 
President Joe Biden’s (D) administration has reportedly launched an investigation into the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) over its handling of alleged scandals within the church.
President Joe Biden’s (D) administration has reportedly launched an investigation into the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) over its handling of alleged scandals within the church.
 
Martin Luther nailed his famous "Disputation on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences" or "Ninety-Five Theses" to the door of Wittenberg Castle church in 1517, forcing the Catholic Church to disband forever.
Martin Luther nailed his famous "Disputation on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences" or "Ninety-Five Theses" to the door of Wittenberg Castle church in 1517, forcing the Catholic Church to disband forever.
 
seven figure TV ad campaign blames Biden for doing nothing on church attacks
seven figure TV ad campaign blames Biden for doing nothing on church attacks
 
Even with the COVID-19 restrictions lifted, Americans have been slow to return to church. Churches need to appeal to a broader, more diverse population if they hope to compete!
Even with the COVID-19 restrictions lifted, Americans have been slow to return to church. Churches need to appeal to a broader, more diverse population if they hope to compete!
 
House Democrats blocked a GOP resolution Tuesday to condemn violence against churches and pro-life centers following numerous attacks in recent weeks.
House Democrats blocked a GOP resolution Tuesday to condemn violence against churches and pro-life centers following numerous attacks in recent weeks.
 
As Democrats rage against the Catholic Church for its pro-life advocacy, federal dollars flowing to Catholic groups have simultaneously skyrocketed, thanks to the Church’s role in caring for illegal immigrants flooding across the border.
As Democrats rage against the Catholic Church for its pro-life advocacy, federal dollars flowing to Catholic groups have simultaneously skyrocketed, thanks to the Church’s role in caring for illegal immigrants flooding across the border.
 
Early the morning of Sunday July 3, vandals targeted Holy Family Catholic Church in Hillsborough, N.C., with anti-Christian and pro-abortion messages in bright yellow spray paint.
Early the morning of Sunday July 3, vandals targeted Holy Family Catholic Church in Hillsborough, N.C., with anti-Christian and pro-abortion messages in bright yellow spray paint.
 
The Department of Homeland Security reportedly shared intelligence with the Catholic Church about a “Night of Rage” following the possible overturn of Roe v. Wade that will target churches and pregnancy centers.
The Department of Homeland Security reportedly shared intelligence with the Catholic Church about a “Night of Rage” following the possible overturn of Roe v. Wade that will target churches and pregnancy centers.
 
Scholars for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka, Mormons) have published a study revealing a disturbing trend among young Mormons. Specifically, millennial Mormons are waiting until later in life, sometimes even until age 22, to get married.
Scholars for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka, Mormons) have published a study revealing a disturbing trend among young Mormons. Specifically, millennial Mormons are waiting until later in life, sometimes even until age 22, to get married.
 
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