10 Disturbing, Newly Discovered Side Effects Of The COVID Vaccine | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    It's hard to remember life before COVID-19 vaccine side effects. Now, they're as much a part of American life as Mom, baseball, apple pie, and government agencies spying on us through our electronic devices. Unfortunately, the more time passes, the more disturbing and previously unheard-of side effects pop up.

    It's important to be aware of these side effects ahead of time, which is why The Babylon Bee has put together this updated list of newly discovered side effects of the COVID vaccine.

  1. You set off metal detectors from 10 feet away: Don't even think about trying to go through airport security.
  2. You're on a first-name basis with your stroke doctor: Plus, you're so good at keeping it together during your strokes, nobody even notices them anymore.
  3. You find yourself collecting Nickelback albums: It turns out that losing your sense of taste extends to music as well.
  4. You're experiencing blurred vision in your third eye: You know, the one that grew in your forehead right after your fourth booster.
  5. You keep receiving telepathic messages from Bill Gates to blow up another food processing plant: You're fairly certain you never got those urges before.
  6. Gender dysphoria: Were you wondering why everyone and their grandma was switching genders now?
  7. You now trust the government: Possibly one of the most dangerous side effects.
  8. You refer to Dr. Fauci as "The Science": It's as though every word out of the man's mouth is scientific scripture.
  9. You now refer to pedophiles as "minor-attracted persons": This side effect is often found in or around library drag queen story hours.
  10. You get nominated - and elected - as Senator from Pennsylvania: It's a prestigious job, but it also comes with a huge neck lump.

    If you notice any of the side effects listed above, contact your local healthcare provider and schedule your 17th COVID vaccine jab immediately.

poll#177
Considering the irrefutable fact that the Left /the Democratic Socialists, beginning in March of 2020, employed the repetitive use of the Covid Pandemic as a political cudgel to wrest a presidential election, where their candidate rarely left his basement, from a frightened and beaten down citizenry of this Representative Republic: What does your knowledge NOW, in hindsight, aid in your understanding of the motives of the Authoritarian Left?
  The "Left" cares about all Democratics, so it was imperative that we do whatever it took to elect a lifelong politician to become that Democratic Socialist to forever change US.
  Pandemics are serious business, where our leaders must use wisdom and practicable efforts of all that serve to protect the public from not only the pandemic, but these ignoble usurpers of the Left.
  I lost almost everything in the Covid Pandemic, and I want justice; a justice where only the truth prevails, and the rampant fraud that is now legend is remedied.
139 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back

HbAD0

Latest The Arts

A strange cocaine-like substance discovered at a federal court Wednesday definitely did not belong to Hunter Biden despite it being found on his courtroom chair.
An unexpected period of sudden transition swept through the nation's capital today after the White House announced President Joe Biden had to be put down after yet another incident in which he bit a baby.
The infamous unsolved murder of rapper Tupac Shakur on the streets of Las Vegas, once thought to be a hit by the Southside Crips, is now believed to be the work of none other than former President Donald J. Trump, who authorities believe acted alone.
Former President Donald Trump has announced that he will make Vivek Ramaswamy head of Tech Support in his next administration.
What a guy! As more evidence continues to emerge regarding Biden's selling influence and favors to foreign governments for bribe money, The President has announced he will be selflessly donating the remainder of his bribe money to charity.
Rock legend Alice Cooper lost a brand partnership with a cosmetics company after he slammed the transgender movement in an interview late this week.
With the rumor mill still churning despite the Secret Service closing its investigation, President Joe Biden blamed the presence of cocaine in the West Wing of the White House on a black man who used to live there.
Jennifer Aniston said she’s tired of “cancel culture” during a recent interview, suggesting that she would probably be canceled for saying so.
After watching her grandfather gnaw on a baby on live television, four-year-old Navy Roberts was reportedly relieved that President Biden had disowned her.

HbAD1

Not even Mainers want to be California — at least that’s the takeaway after Pine Tree State residents slammed a proposed statewide crackdown on fossil fuels this week.
Keri Russell recently said she was “lucky” to leave “The All-New Mickey Mouse Club” with her “sanity” and “dignity” because others weren’t as fortunate, without explaining further.
I looked over some of these songs beloved by some of the presidential candidates, and thought: How different my choices would be?
A retired professional football player whose life story became the basis for the Oscar-winning movie “The Blind Side,” says the white, wealthy family who took him in never actually adopted him, as the film suggests.
“Sound of Freedom” writer-director Alejandro Monteverde opened up about the possibility of a sequel to the hit that has become the highest-grossing indie film since 2019’s “Parasite.”
In a thrilling viral television moment, MSNBC host Rachel Maddow snorted a line of cocaine on air to prove to the world that it's a completely natural substance and no big deal at all.
Actress Sandra Bullock put her Hollywood career on hold to care for her longtime boyfriend, Bryan Randall, after he was diagnosed with a debilitating terminal disease.
The president is missing! A source confirmed late Tuesday night that President Biden, apparently spooked by Independence Day fireworks, piddled on a rug before bolting in terror into the woods behind the White House.
Jim Caviezel sent a message of thanks to fans as his new movie “Sound of Freedom” surpassed the $150 million mark at the box office.

HbAD2

According to sources, a female comic has broken a world record after going a full six seconds into her stand-up bit without mentioning her vagina even once. The previous record held by Amy Schumer was a mere 2 seconds.
“Sound of Freedom” has scored another victory after it was announced that the hit film will be adding several hundred additional screens in theaters across the country in the film’s fourth week out — after soaring pass the $100 million mark at the box office.
The 75th Primetime Emmys will not air on September 18 as previously scheduled due to the ongoing strikes in Hollywood, according to a Thursday report from Variety.
A local 10-year-old boy has died tragically of severe trauma due to his mother taking away his Nintendo Switch for a few days.
President Volodymyr Zelensky breathed a sigh of relief Monday after learning an attempted coup in Russia had failed, all but guaranteeing that war with Russia would continue, possibly forever.
Members of the media were left confused today after White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre deployed a smoke bomb on the ground and disappeared in a cloud when questioned about Hunter Biden's incriminating text messages with a Chinese Communist operative.
Actor Dennis Quaid has been open about his struggle with addiction over the years, and now he’s discussing the benefits of staying sober and relying on his faith in a higher power.
The Department of Justice announced they have found zero evidence of bribery in a photograph of Hunter Biden carrying a bag of cash next to President Biden holding a sign that reads, "Will Trade Political Favors 4 Cash."
Reviews for Christopher Nolan’s historical drama “Oppenheimer” have been incredibly positive so far, but some viewers couldn’t help but point out what they’re calling a historical discrepancy in the film.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top