Jack In The Box Declares Bankruptcy Minutes After Snoop Gives Up Weed | Eastern North Carolina Now

National fast-food chain Jack in the Box was forced to declare bankruptcy today immediately after news broke that hip hop artist Snoop Dogg announced he is giving up smoking weed.

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN DIEGO, CA     National fast-food chain Jack in the Box was forced to declare bankruptcy today immediately after news broke that hip hop artist Snoop Dogg announced he is giving up smoking weed.

    "There's no way the company can survive this loss," said Jack in the Box spokesman Brian Pillman. "This may not have been widely known among the general public, but Jack in the Box has been staying in business for the last quarter-century because Snoop Dogg accounts for roughly 65% of our revenue. If he's not smoking weed - and not getting the munchies at 2 A.M. - we're ruined."

    The nationwide chain will now be forced to oversee the closing of virtually all of its franchise locations unless Snoop has a change of heart. Other, less-famous Jack in the Box fans made desperate pleas for the rapper to keep up his smoking habit. "Snoop! Dude! C'mon, man! You have to help Jack in the Box stay in business, bro!" said Tom Zenk, who also relies on Jack in the Box to satisfy his midnight munchies attacks. "If I can't hit up Jack in the Box for some cheap tacos in the middle of the night, I don't know what I'll do. Please, Snoop! You have to save Jack in the Bizzle!"

    At publishing time, representatives for the rapper could not be reached for comment, but analysts believe the food chain will completely disappear from existence within the next week if Snoop Dogg sticks with his plan to ditch his weed habit.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

New 'Jordan Peterson On The Shelf' Doll Watches To Make Sure You Clean Your Room Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Satan Announces Early Retirement Thanks To TikTok


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.
DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.
In a controversial new episode of Paw Patrol that aired this week on Nick Jr., Chase gets neutered so he can become the world's first transgender pup.
Ray Epps, the man accused by many of being involved with federal law enforcement during the January 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol, said over the weekend that Fox News host Tucker Carlson was “obsessed” with him and trying to ruin his life.


Cotton has been mentioned as a possible running mate for former President Donald Trump.
In order to let President Biden feel like he is still working, the White House has installed a "Touch-And-Learn" activity desk for Biden to play at while First Lady Jill Biden runs the country.
Former President Donald Trump said during a radio hit on Friday that he would be willing to take a cognitive test alongside President Joe Biden to let voters see the mental state of each presidential candidate.
wife of Washington Post's Max Boot indicted under Foreign Agents Registration Act


NBC News’ Chuck Todd said Tuesday that Biden’s declining cognitive health has been an “open secret” for years, revealing that a senior cabinet member from the Biden administration suggested in 2022 that the president cannot run for reelection.
Democrats pushing offshore wind are a theat to NC beaches as well
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro is testifying to Congress on Wednesday for a House Judiciary Committee hearing on the alleged conspiracy to suppress conservative voices under the guise of “brand safety.”
that has caused the strife in this presidential campaign
Still to early to know all we need to know, but we now know much more than we did last Saturday


Back to Top