Taylor Swift Dumps Travis Kelce For Face Paint Boy | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KANSAS CITY, MO     In a pop romance earthquake, Taylor Swift dumped Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce for new beau Holden Armenta, better known as "Face Paint Boy".

    Swift fans across the country immediately burned their newly-purchased Travis Kelce jerseys in ceremonial bonfires, then set about painting their faces and acquiring Native American headdresses. "I'm just so, so happy for Taylor," said longtime fan Audrey Langston. "The way she looks into his little black and red face, you can just see it was meant to be. We are all Taylor Swift in search of our own face paint boy."

    Sources report Travis Kelce was completely blindsided by the breakup, his NFL status simply no match for the shooting star that is "Face Paint Boy". Swift will reportedly release an album entitled "Chief of Heartbreaks" tomorrow, with thirteen tracks describing the demise of her and Kelce's brief romance. Travis Kelce has stated he will not listen to the songs as the pain is simply too acute.

    At publishing time, Swift was spotted at a Kansas City restaurant with her face painted half-red, half-black, and wearing traditional Native American garb and doing a rain dance.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )



Comments

( February 5th, 2024 @ 9:32 pm )
 
I really wished that she would have waited until after the Super Bowl to make this announcement. It would have been nice for him to not have this as a distraction.
Vegas said:
( February 5th, 2024 @ 4:36 pm )
 
Taylor are you crazy???
( February 5th, 2024 @ 11:52 am )
 
Heartbroken: What problem might you have with "Face Paint Boy."

He might be a good catch as well, and one would to admit that he is somewhat younger, and maybe Taylor digs that.
Big Bob said:
( February 5th, 2024 @ 10:09 am )
 
Like just about everything else posted, this isn't true.
( February 5th, 2024 @ 8:44 am )
 
I really wished that she would have waited until after the Super Bowl to make this announcement. It would have been nice for him to not have this as a distraction.



Iranian-Backed Houthi Terrorists Seize Cargo Ship In Red Sea Babylon Bee, Editorials, Somebody's Laughing, Op-Ed & Politics, The Arts Oakland Votes To Allow Hamas To Move Into Newly Vacant Coliseum


HbAD0

Latest The Arts

Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.
‘Oppenheimer’ movie scored big at the 96th Academy Awards on Sunday, taking home seven Oscars from the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.
Legendary stand-up comedian Richard Lewis, also known for his work on the hit HBO show “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” has died after suffering a heart attack. He was 76.
The game show “Jeopardy!,” in which gives contestants must give answers in the form of a question, embraced the woke agenda by including so-called “neo-pronouns” as an answer.
Actor Gary Sinise delivered a glowing tribute to his late son, McCanna Anthony “Mac” Sinise, nearly two months after he died of chordoma, an extremely rare cancer that attacks the spine.
Kevin Costner just released the trailer for his upcoming Western drama film, “Horizon: An American Saga.”
The classic musical film “Mary Poppins” has been changed to a “PG” rating in the United Kingdom due to perceived “discriminatory language.”
The 2024 SAG (Screen Actors Guild) Awards ceremony took place Saturday night, with current popular titles “Oppenheimer” and “The Bear” taking home multiple awards.
Shia LaBeouf received the Sacrament of Confirmation, completing his conversion to Catholicism, on Sunday, and the actor’s confirmation sponsor suggested LaBeouf may become a deacon “in the future.”

HbAD1

Michael Keaton said he’s been having a blast working on the “Beetlejuice” sequel and that, as promised, it’s not going to be filled with CGI-heavy special effects.
Sony Pictures entertainment has announced that four separate Beatles movies are in the works, one featuring each of the members of the famed British band.
In this high tech Home Theater era of endless options of cinematic series, movies, sitcoms, and episodic television, we, who consume, all have our favorites in this copious threaded arena of these many entertaining stories of reality, comedy, and, on occasion, high art reminiscent of the best of us.
New York District Attorney Letitia James followed through on her threat to seize the property of Trump by grabbing up the former president's estate, Mar-a-lago. The top lawyer for the Big Apple then turned around and sold the property for $740 million.
The latest installment of “The Pendragon Cycle” production diaries takes the bull by the horns, literally, with an incredible bull dancing scene shot in Rome.
Mark Wahlberg said that COVID caused a “disconnect” between Americans and called for people to come back together through the “power of prayer.”
Fans can pay to see an Elvis Presley concert thanks to the growing popularity of AI technology in the concert sphere.
“Sound of Freedom” beat out Taylor Swift’s “The Eras Tour” movie to finish in the top ten of 2023 box office tallies domestically.

HbAD2

“The Chosen” dropped a fiery new trailer on Thursday that gives fans a sneak peek at what to expect in the upcoming episodes in Season 4, which will be shown in theaters.
What began as a pleasant seminar at Lakewood Church devolved into an awkward situation today, as Senior Pastor Joel Osteen was stumped by one attendee who asked him to name three books from the Bible.
A new horror movie featuring the “Steamboat Willie” version of Mickey Mouse is currently in the works, per a Variety report.
“Friends” alumnus David Schwimmer took to Instagram on Friday to call out people who continued to deny increasing reports and evidence that the terror group Hamas used sexual violence as a weapon against Israeli women — both during the October 7th attacks and on hostages in Gaza.
“Star Trek” actor LeVar Burton was shocked to discover that one of his ancestors was a white Confederate soldier.
"I was being hunted down from everything I posted to every post I liked…”
As the Supreme Court began to hear the case regarding former President Donald Trump being removed from the ballot in Colorado, Justice Ketanji brown Jackson paused oral arguments to ask what this "Constitution" thing is everyone keeps talking about.
Shortly after the news of his passing was announced, tributes to country music legend Toby Keith started pouring in.
In a pop romance earthquake, Taylor Swift dumped Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce for new beau Holden Armenta, better known as "Face Paint Boy".

HbAD3

 
Back to Top