9 Must-Haves To Pack For Your Harvard Student's Dorm | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    It's Christmas time again! Parents are looking for the perfect gift for kids of all ages, which can be especially tough if your child is attending a prestigious, virulently antisemitic institution like Harvard!

    The Babylon Bee is here to help by providing you with the following list of absolute must-have items to pack for your Harvard student's dorm room:

  1. Shovel: That tunnel network under campus isn't going to dig itself!
  2. Paragliding kit: It's the Harvard way to get to class.
  3. Body armor: Only if your student is Jewish.
  4. Hitler bobblehead: Just the thing to keep their spirits up while reading Bin Laden's "Letter To America".
  5. Pickleball paddle: This one isn't political, he just might want to play pickleball.
  6. Grenade Launcher: You can't fight infidels with binders, mom!
  7. Pocket Qur'an: It'll come in handy for required classes like "Jihad 101".
  8. Baby carrier: Just in case they come across any human shields on campus.
  9. Star of David: For affixing to anyone who sets off one of the campus "Jew Detectors".

    Your Harvard student is about to have the best Christmas ever! Get to shopping!
Go Back


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Police in the nation’s capital are not stopping illegal aliens who are driving around without license plates, according to a new report.
Davidaon County student suspended for using correct legal term for those in country illegally
Lawmakers and privacy experts on both sides of the political spectrum are sounding the alarm on a provision in a spy powers reform bill that one senator described as one of the “most terrifying expansions of government surveillance” in history
given to illegals in Mexico before they even get to US: NGOs connected to Mayorkas
committee gets enough valid signatures to force vote on removing Oakland, CA's Soros DA
other pro-terrorist protests in Chicago shout "Death to America" in Farsi


Only two of the so-called “three Johns” will be competing to replace Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) as leader of the Senate GOP.
House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan (R-OH) is looking into whether GoFundMe and Eventbrite cooperated with federal law enforcement during their investigation into the financial transactions of supporters of former President Donald Trump.
Turkish diplomatic sources say he did
Popularity of government leader crashes, even among his own party members.
Wisconsin voters ban private money, nonprofits from the election process after 2020 ‘Zuckerbucks’ controversy; spotlight now on 22 states that still allow it.
6 month old baby fighting for life after mother killed; policewoman finally arrives, shoots knifeman


Far-left Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was mocked online late on Monday after video of her yelling at pro-Palestinian activists went viral.
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro, along with hosts Matt Walsh, Andrew Klavan, and company co-founder Jeremy Boreing discussed the state of the 2024 presidential election before President Joe Biden gave his State of the Union address on Thursday.
Lots of elements that have to be dug up with heavy fossil fuel vehicles
Yet again we see the truth in the ole saying, once the camel gets his head under the test ain't no tellin what he will do next
joins West Virginia and Montana in ending Renewable Portfolio standards
good Washington Examiner analysis, but where is RNC on pushing back on this issue?


220 migrants storm border, assault border guards, but all are turned back
. . as feds continue to coverup manifesto of trans shooter at Covenant School
Former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley said this week that the criminal trials against former President Donald Trump should happen before the upcoming elections.
NOAA fabricates temperature data for more than 30 percent of the 1,218 USHCN reporting stations that no longer exist
Stalin Show Trials by Democrats are the real attack on democracy


Back to Top