New Body-Positive Scale Just Says 'You're Totally Healthy And Definitely Won't Die At A Young Age Of Heart Disease'

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.86% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.14% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

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New Body-Positive Scale Just Says 'You're Totally Healthy And Definitely Won't Die At A Young Age Of Heart Disease'

Published: Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 @ 8:43 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, DC     In a major win for body positivity, the Center for Disease Control released a new scale this week to help doctors inform slightly larger patients they're doing great and definitely won't die young from any sort of coronary episode.

    "We call this the 'You Go Girl' scale," CDC Spokesperson Dana Macgillis told reporters. "Now, no matter what the numbers might say a patient's weight is, doctors can use our scale to inform them that they're totally healthy and definitely won't die young or anything...even if they're, say, 200 pounds 'overweight', whatever that is..."

    The move comes after a slew of prominent body positivity activists died mysteriously from causes doctors can neither diagnose nor say out loud for possible fear of losing their jobs.

    "These individuals died from caring too much," Macgillis said. "They were definitely healthy at any weight and weren't crushed to death under the weight of mountains of their own blubber. You go girl!"

    Body positivity experts hailed the new scale as a fantastic move forward in ridding society of ableist terms like "Healthy Weight", "Massive Coronary Event", "Type 2 Diabetes", and "Died From Massive Overdose Of MacDonald's Fries and 165 Ounces Of Coke."

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