Newly sworn-in California Senator Laphonza Butler expressed excitement about her new job, citing the short commute to work from her home state of Maryland.
Published: Tuesday, December 5th, 2023 @ 2:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After being caught off guard by criticism of his selection of Laphonza Butler to replace the late Dianne Feinstein in Congress, California Governor Gavin Newsom defended his choice by saying Butler was the most qualified candidate among the .00001% of the population he was choosing
Published: Saturday, December 2nd, 2023 @ 10:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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California Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week he had selected recently-deceased Senator Dianne Feinstein's replacement by throwing a dart at a board full of pre-selected photos of black lesbian women.
Published: Wednesday, November 29th, 2023 @ 9:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Senator Dianne Feinstein has passed away at 90 years old. In the wake of the tragic news, her estate confirmed to reporters that her death will in no way affect her re-election campaign.
Published: Sunday, November 26th, 2023 @ 10:02 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With the first Biden impeachment inquiry underway, Democrats reprimanded Republicans for pouncing on a decent old man, insisting the impeachment was just a waste of time because Biden would probably be dead in a few weeks anyway.
Published: Saturday, November 25th, 2023 @ 5:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Diane Feinstein was ninety years old at the time of her death, which was neither shocking nor unexpected. In this last chapter of her life, her increasing frailties were on display for all to see.
Published: Wednesday, November 8th, 2023 @ 6:06 pm
By: Lib Campbell
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In addition to certifying Mitch McConnell, Diane Feinstein, and John Fetterman as fit to serve in prominent roles in the legislative branch of the United States government, the attending physician at the U.S. Capitol has medically cleared a bowl of Jell-O to serve in the Senate.
Published: Sunday, November 5th, 2023 @ 4:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Mitch McConnell resigned from Congress without warning Thursday, signaling his departure by blinking twice.
Published: Saturday, November 4th, 2023 @ 12:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Laphonza Butler became California‘s newest U.S. Senator on Tuesday, succeeding the late Dianne Feinstein (D-CA).
Published: Wednesday, October 25th, 2023 @ 6:58 pm
By: Daily Wire
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California Governor Gavin Newsom will reportedly appoint Laphonza Butler, the president of far-left EMILY’s List, to replace Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) in the U.S. Senate after Feinstein passed away last week.
Published: Saturday, October 21st, 2023 @ 5:30 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The latest conflict in the Middle East is solidifying the new Axis of Evil
Published: Saturday, October 21st, 2023 @ 9:49 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) has passed away, and while there is plenty in her decades-long senatorial career to scrutinize, there’s one shining moment that deserves special attention: The time she put a bunch of global warming-indoctrinated kids in their place.
Published: Thursday, October 19th, 2023 @ 11:40 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) died Thursday night at the age of 90, her office confirmed.
Published: Thursday, October 19th, 2023 @ 5:01 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Senate Democrats have recruited a professional puppeteer to assist 90-year-old Dianne Feinstein by moving her dead limbs and speaking for her whenever needed, according to sources. Feinstein is now expected to retain her senate seat forever.
Published: Thursday, October 5th, 2023 @ 10:04 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Republican National Committee has been hard at work seeking a possible replacement for Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, sending teams of volunteers to the nation's beaches in search of a viable candidate.
Published: Wednesday, October 4th, 2023 @ 5:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Tributes are pouring in across the country for longtime U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA, who passed away Thursday. She was 90.
Published: Monday, October 2nd, 2023 @ 10:57 am
By: Carolina Journal
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Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) does not appear to have endured a stroke or have a seizure disorder, the attending physician of the U.S. Congress said in a new update on Tuesday after the lawmaker’s second freeze-up last week.
Published: Thursday, September 28th, 2023 @ 8:36 am
By: Daily Wire
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Long-time congressional aide Mark Mathis has been tasked with slowly pushing a cart through the halls of congress to collect the dead bodies.
Published: Wednesday, September 27th, 2023 @ 1:01 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In an unexpected turn of events, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has rocketed to the top of polls for the 2024 Democratic Party nomination for president after suffering what appeared to be a stroke in the middle of a press conference yesterday.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 11:30 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the Upper House shuffled excitedly down the hall on their way to lunch Thursday after hearing Congressional chefs were prepping something special in addition to their usual meal of strained peas and blended cube steak.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 6:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) appeared to freeze up again during a press conference in Kentucky on Wednesday — roughly one month after a similar episode on Capitol Hill.
Published: Sunday, September 24th, 2023 @ 3:33 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), the 83-year-old former House speaker, announced Friday that she will run for re-election.
Published: Wednesday, September 13th, 2023 @ 12:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley suggested that the “entire Congress” may need to take “mental competency tests” as calls grow for some of the oldest U.S. lawmakers to retire due to apparent impairment related to their advanced age.
Published: Monday, September 11th, 2023 @ 7:51 am
By: Daily Wire
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U.S. Congressman Chuck Edwards (R-NC-11) today introduced the National Dam Safety Program Reauthorization Act of 2023, to support dam safety in North Carolina’s 11th district and nationwide.
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 1:55 pm
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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A local family was faced with a difficult decision this week regarding whether to place their beloved grandpa in hospice care or have him announce a campaign for a U.S. Senate seat.
Published: Thursday, August 3rd, 2023 @ 1:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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At long last, the end of the world is upon us. At any minute the trumpets will sound and we'll be caught up into heaven, leaving only our clothes and jewelry behind-- just like in the theologically accurate international blockbuster film Left Behind.
Published: Wednesday, July 5th, 2023 @ 12:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The House is expected to consider this week a measure that aims to formally rebuke and impose a hefty fine against Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) for playing up allegations of collusion between Russia and former President Donald Trump.
Published: Saturday, July 1st, 2023 @ 7:42 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Republican-led House on Wednesday voted against formally rebuking Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) for playing up allegations of collusion between Russia and former President Donald Trump.
Published: Monday, June 19th, 2023 @ 12:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) served her constituents for decades so, good on her.
Published: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023 @ 7:33 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
Published: Friday, June 9th, 2023 @ 12:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Good news! Achieving peak physical fitness doesn't have to be an unsolvable enigma. There are surefire ways to guarantee you a ripped, wrecked, yoked, strapped, shredded physique in no time.
Published: Thursday, June 8th, 2023 @ 2:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Let’s get one thing straight from the get-go: this isn’t a partisan thing.
Published: Friday, June 2nd, 2023 @ 12:21 am
By: Daily Wire
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