Senators Excited Thursday’s Lunch Will Now Include Pudding With Their Strained Peas | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Members of the Upper House shuffled excitedly down the hall on their way to lunch Thursday after hearing Congressional chefs were prepping something special in addition to their usual meal of strained peas and blended cube steak.

    "Oooo! I hear it's chocolate pudding!" exclaimed Senator Dianne Feinstein. "I haven't had chocolate smooshsmosh since Otto von Bismarck made his trek across the Delaware and another thing why are the lights in here so bright and where's Dorothy with my whacking stick...."

    Senator Mitch McConnell was seen padding toward the cafeteria with a sparkle in his eye after hearing about the addition to the meal, which interns call a "big deal" for the aging senators who look forward to little added treats to their standard lunches.

    "I sure do love........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... pudding." Senator McConnell told reporters.

    Following lunch, the Senators were entertained by Clarence Wilson and the Do-Wops, a favorite old-timey musical ensemble, before aids helped them back to their offices for afternoon nap-time.

    "It warms the heart to see them so excited," Aid Bethany Simpson said. "At their age, it's the little things that make them so happy. It's like watching the world through the eyes of a child...a child who can make laws and determine the direction of the country."