|
A new survey of single men has found that the number one qualification they look for in a wife is "someone who will shout at and fight off the invisible lizard people on the plane who aren't real," sources confirmed Monday.
Published: Thursday, October 12th, 2023 @ 9:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Local man Steve Rollins juked and spun his way past church greeters during a visit to First Baptist Church today, stunning church staff with his world-class elusiveness.
Published: Wednesday, May 31st, 2023 @ 5:26 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has spent the last several years complaining about racism in America — and as he embarks on a publicity tour for his new graphic novel memoir, “Change the Game,” he’s turning the accusations of racism against his own white adoptive parents.
Published: Sunday, March 19th, 2023 @ 10:13 am
By: Daily Wire
|
|
Introverts nationwide can rejoice (quietly, in a room by themselves), as the restaurant chain Chili's has announced plans to add new silent fajitas to menus across the country.
Published: Thursday, March 16th, 2023 @ 9:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
According to sources, your Supercuts hairstylist just entered a back room and flipped a coin to decide whether to give you a surprisingly good haircut or the most atrocious haircut of all time.
Published: Sunday, February 26th, 2023 @ 9:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
ECU experts say openness, empathy build foundations for friendship
Published: Sunday, February 19th, 2023 @ 6:05 pm
By: ECU News Services
|
|
If you've been to church lately, you have probably noticed that the so-called "order of worship" really serves as more of a vague set of suggestions. Here, we present to you a more realistic order of worship, in all its glory:
Published: Friday, January 27th, 2023 @ 9:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Pope Benedict XVI, the former head of the Catholic Church whose historic resignation in 2013 created the position of “pope emeritus,” has died following a short illness. He was 95 years old.
Published: Thursday, January 5th, 2023 @ 11:24 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
|
A local church was thrown into an uproar over the weekend as one congregant was instantly turned into a pillar of salt after turning back to glare at what was later found to be a faultless and righteous sound man.
Published: Monday, November 14th, 2022 @ 8:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
After another disastrous trip to the salon, local introvert Sam Johnson has resigned himself to a lifetime of awful haircuts.
Published: Tuesday, November 1st, 2022 @ 10:56 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
If you've ever wondered if you should leave a church, wonder no more – The Babylon Bee is here to help! Here are 10 solid, biblically-defensible excuses for leaving a church that's not serving you enough:
Published: Monday, October 3rd, 2022 @ 4:18 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Reporters on the ground say local man Jeff Sheldon is still following his friends around, persisting in telling and re-telling what it means to be an introvert.
Published: Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022 @ 4:04 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL) got some unexpected praise late this week from media personality Bill Maher, who insisted that DeSantis would be better than former President Donald Trump.
Published: Sunday, June 26th, 2022 @ 11:50 am
By: Daily Wire
|
|
Local introvert Esther Leigh surprised her husband of ten years Thursday by sitting him down and explaining that he'd been mispronouncing her name this whole time.
Published: Sunday, May 22nd, 2022 @ 2:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
A Colorado sixth-grader was told to consider declaring herself transgender while attending what she thought was an after-school art club meeting last year, according to her mother and a parents’ rights organization.
Published: Friday, May 13th, 2022 @ 11:38 am
By: Daily Wire
|
|
Oh no! It's Sunday morning and the worship leader told everyone to turn and greet someone standing next to them!
Published: Wednesday, May 4th, 2022 @ 9:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
I'm writing this column from Black Mountain, where my sister has a charming vacation cottage.
Published: Monday, June 26th, 2017 @ 8:33 pm
By: Kathy Manos Penn
|
|
The following classes and workshops are offered through the Continuing Education Department.
Published: Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016 @ 10:42 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
|
|
One of the byproducts of social media is the rehashing of GIF-filled entertainment pages featuring cute animals, compilations of "photo bombs," and other time-wasters.
Published: Friday, December 20th, 2013 @ 4:39 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
|
|
Freshman year in college is a time of celebration for most. Freed from the babysitting and busy-working grind of high school as well as from the direct supervision of family members, most freshmen revel in their newfound liberty. It is a profoundly strange time for anybody to be...
Published: Friday, July 12th, 2013 @ 11:55 am
By: John William Pope Center
|