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Distinguished authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis have once again been sent to opposite corners of Heaven following a heated argument about the proper use of allegory.
Distinguished authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis have once again been sent to opposite corners of Heaven following a heated argument about the proper use of allegory.
 
All was not trumpets and harps at the Pearly Gates following a surprising revelation that has really ruffled some holy vestments. Saints in Heaven were shocked to learn Catholics have been trying to talk to them this whole time.
All was not trumpets and harps at the Pearly Gates following a surprising revelation that has really ruffled some holy vestments. Saints in Heaven were shocked to learn Catholics have been trying to talk to them this whole time.
 
The late Steve Christiansen, a devout Christian who had filled his mortal days serving others and standing for truth and righteousness, was about to walk through the gates to heaven when an ever-vigilant St. Peter heard him call soda "pop."
The late Steve Christiansen, a devout Christian who had filled his mortal days serving others and standing for truth and righteousness, was about to walk through the gates to heaven when an ever-vigilant St. Peter heard him call soda "pop."
 
All of the dogs living in Heaven fled in horror today upon the arrival of notorious neutering advocate Bob Barker.
All of the dogs living in Heaven fled in horror today upon the arrival of notorious neutering advocate Bob Barker.
 
A terrifying new report has sent shockwaves throughout the Christian community, as rumors swirled that people who skim through the genealogies in their Bible reading will be barred from entering Heaven.
A terrifying new report has sent shockwaves throughout the Christian community, as rumors swirled that people who skim through the genealogies in their Bible reading will be barred from entering Heaven.
 
Local man William Swoop arrived home after a long day at work Friday but found himself incapable of shutting off his car and entering his home.
Local man William Swoop arrived home after a long day at work Friday but found himself incapable of shutting off his car and entering his home.
 
According to heavenly sources, Dave Ramsey will now be stationed outside of the pearly gates to judge people based on how well they stuck to their budget.
According to heavenly sources, Dave Ramsey will now be stationed outside of the pearly gates to judge people based on how well they stuck to their budget.
 
Due to quality control issues, Saint Peter's questionnaire at the Pearly Gates has gotten stricter. Still think you can get into heaven with all your terrible opinions? Check out this list and find out!
Due to quality control issues, Saint Peter's questionnaire at the Pearly Gates has gotten stricter. Still think you can get into heaven with all your terrible opinions? Check out this list and find out!
 
Reports coming down from on high confirm Heaven will feature a fully stocked Buc-ee's convenience store and gas station. Saints will be able to fill up on delicious Beaver Nuggets and brisket sandwiches before evacuating their heavenly bowels in the world-famous restrooms.
Reports coming down from on high confirm Heaven will feature a fully stocked Buc-ee's convenience store and gas station. Saints will be able to fill up on delicious Beaver Nuggets and brisket sandwiches before evacuating their heavenly bowels in the world-famous restrooms.
 
In a stunning reversal, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado has reportedly decided not to spend eternity in Heaven after finding out there won't be firearms there. The lawmaker made her choice following a disappointing conversation with her pastor.
In a stunning reversal, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado has reportedly decided not to spend eternity in Heaven after finding out there won't be firearms there. The lawmaker made her choice following a disappointing conversation with her pastor.
 
What began as a joyous celebration quickly devolved into chaos and horror for some local shepherds after a multitude of the Heavenly host began singing "Last Christmas" by Wham! late last night.
What began as a joyous celebration quickly devolved into chaos and horror for some local shepherds after a multitude of the Heavenly host began singing "Last Christmas" by Wham! late last night.
 
A local man was suddenly struck with fear as he stood in line to enter Heaven when Saint Peter unexpectedly asked him to answer how many warriors were in the tribe of Simeon at the time of the Exodus.
A local man was suddenly struck with fear as he stood in line to enter Heaven when Saint Peter unexpectedly asked him to answer how many warriors were in the tribe of Simeon at the time of the Exodus.
 
Anthony Spinner, a Wisconsin man who'd recently been broken in half during a backyard wrestling match, attempted to argue his way into the Kingdom of Heaven by showing Saint Peter the Ukraine flag he placed on his Twitter bio.
Anthony Spinner, a Wisconsin man who'd recently been broken in half during a backyard wrestling match, attempted to argue his way into the Kingdom of Heaven by showing Saint Peter the Ukraine flag he placed on his Twitter bio.
 
Life can throw some real mysteries your way, and we have all wished we could ask God for a few answers.
Life can throw some real mysteries your way, and we have all wished we could ask God for a few answers.
 
After living a life of poverty famously dedicated to evangelization, Saint Anthony asked God today what on earth he did to now deserve an eternity of looking around for people's keys and cell phones.
After living a life of poverty famously dedicated to evangelization, Saint Anthony asked God today what on earth he did to now deserve an eternity of looking around for people's keys and cell phones.
 
According to sources within the heavenly realm, the promised reward of a mansion for all believers will be augmented for VBS volunteers with the gift of a brand new, perfect Tesla upon arrival.
According to sources within the heavenly realm, the promised reward of a mansion for all believers will be augmented for VBS volunteers with the gift of a brand new, perfect Tesla upon arrival.
 
At a press conference this week, angelic Chief of Staff Gabriel Angelino confirmed that new arrivals into heaven will receive complimentary cheddar bay biscuits, Red-Lobster style, before continuing in to receive their full reward.
At a press conference this week, angelic Chief of Staff Gabriel Angelino confirmed that new arrivals into heaven will receive complimentary cheddar bay biscuits, Red-Lobster style, before continuing in to receive their full reward.
 
All you need for life in heaven's grocery store
All you need for life in heaven's grocery store
 
If laughter is good for the soul, then my soul is in good shape after Puddin's recent adventure.
If laughter is good for the soul, then my soul is in good shape after Puddin's recent adventure.
 
And come September, it's a match made in heaven - hog heaven, that is
And come September, it's a match made in heaven - hog heaven, that is
 
Today was another excellent Sunday in Bible Study and at church. I am always grateful to learn about the Bible and its lessons.
Today was another excellent Sunday in Bible Study and at church. I am always grateful to learn about the Bible and its lessons.
 
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a beard.
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a beard.
 
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