I married a GPS | Eastern NC Now

    I do not need any of the high-tech highfalutin stuff that you get with iPhone, iPads, and computers. I married a GPS system. (Guaranteed personal solution)

    If I need instructions on what to wear, I just put on what I think is appropriate and my GPS will auto correct my attire.

    If I have any doubt about what to say in any given situation, I merely turn to my GPS and after a slight pause, the answer will be spoken.

    Whenever I am in doubt about what priority my chores have, I just start doing anyone I chose and the correct priority will be announced.

    Whenever I think, I know what time we need to leave to make an appointment, I just sit down and the GPS will advise me when we have to leave.

    If accidentally buy something to wear, I just hang it up with and put the receipt in the designated basket and the correct clothing will magically appear before I need to wear my purchase.

    When we take a trip, all I have to do is get the suitcase out of the closet and the GPS will determine and pack the appropriate attire.

    When we are driving anywhere, I do not need to anticipate any stops. Th GPS will announce which exit to take as needed.

    When I go to the doctor, my GPS will explain the problem to the MD and offer several solutions from diet to exercise and any other things that need to be changed.

    All the minor decisions in my life are made by the GPS, I get to make the major decisions like should we go to war, how to change our tax code, and when car needs service.

    The critical drawback to my GPS system is I have to decide which route to take when we go somewhere we have never been before. I have this plug in device that I use to offer suggestions, subject to approval by my GPS.

    I have been told that I should not have my GPS listed as both the beneficiary to my will and also the medical power of attorney charged with when to pull the plug. However, my GPS says not to worry about that, she will get advice before making a decision on that.

    Other than these and a few other things, I have free will to do as I please. It is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. I might add that my GPS came with a lifetime guarantee and unlimited updates to the knowledge database.

    So far, everything has worked out great except those occasional meals when I ate too much spicy food. The GPS remains uncharacteristically silent on that subject. There may be some other advanced functions of the GPS that I have not found out about yet, but I am confident it will not lead me astray.

   No she does not know I posted this. I think?????