No Little Hungry People Ever Again | Eastern NC Now

    My keen observation skills have lead me to devise a Plan of Action that will eliminate hunger for the children of the world, if only Our Rulers have the foresight and strength of purpose to make it happen.

    This Plan of Action evolved over years of my watching American Children in Restaurants as they eat hardly anything off their plates. It goes like this...
    •A plate of Cheesed Ziti Pasta arrives in front of Typical American Child Diners.
    •Over the next twenty-three minutes, Typical American Child Diners eat only four ziti, moves twelve other ziti around the plate and wait for dessert.
    •During these twenty-three minutes Typical American Child Diners act concerned while Typical American Child Diner's Parents tell them, if they do not eat their ziti, there will be no dessert but Typical American Child Diners know better.
    •Dessert arrives.
    •Dessert is eaten.
    •Doggy bag is requested and filled with rearranged ziti.
    •There is no dessert in the doggy bag.

    Another night out with Typical American Family is concluded. No surprises here but I see a better way. Here is what I have concluded is that better way...
    Our Rulers should go abroad and gather up all the Starving Children from every country in the world and bring them to the good ole USofA. One or more of these Starving Children should be assigned to each American Dining Out Child whose parents make it a practice of taking their little darling out to dinner more times in a month than my children went out to eat in an entire year. These Follower Children are to sit patiently behind their Assigned Typical American Child Diner and move in to clean up the leftover ziti as soon as dessert has arrived.

    This policy means:
    •Trees will be saved because of the dramatically reduced demand for doggy bags (this will require a government subsidy for the makers of doggy bag makers).
    •Worldwide child hunger will be eliminated.

    The only problem with this plan is one that I am sure you have already seen. The sheer volume of leftover Typical American Child Diner Food is so large that the Former Starving Follower Children will certainly develop an Obesity Problem.

    Since this Obesity Problem was brought upon these, once slim and trim children, by the lack of foresight of Our Rulers, the U.S Government will be responsible to pay for treatment of the Follower Children at Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or another weight loss plan. This would require a tax increase.

    Would I kid u?
    Smartfella