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Speaking to conservative podcast host Charlie Kirk, Kyle Rittenhouse this week revealed what was on his mind during the trial as he sat expressionless like a "potted plant."
"Believe it or not, I'm freaking out behind the scenes, because you don't know what's gonna happen,"
the teenager told Kirk, describing how he dealt with the trial and public spectacle.
Rittenhouse credited his support group, including his three attorneys, for helping him "stay calm."
"What I'm thinking when I'm just the blank-faced, potted plant in court, I'm just saying in my head, 'Is this guy serious?,' referring to 'Lunchbox' and Binger, also known as 'Little Finger,'"
The name "Lunchbox"
is a reference to Assistant District Attorney James Kraus, who was dubbed the nickname by some online commentators, perhaps due to his weight. "Little Finger"
and "Little Binger"
were common nicknames for Assistant District Attorney Thomas Binger.
Kraus and Binger led the prosecution against Rittenhouse, who was facing life in prison without the chance of parole. Last month, the teen was found not guilty by a jury on all counts.
Appearing in a teaser clip for a documentary from Fox News host Tucker Carlson, Rittenhouse said after the acquittal that the jury "reached the right verdict."
"Self-defense is not illegal, and I believe they came to the correct verdict, and I'm glad that everything went well."
"It's been a rough journey, but we made it through it,"
the 18-year-old said. "We made it through the hard part."
The special follows the teenager through the last year after he fatally shot two men and injured a third while defending himself against attackers during a Black Lives Matter protest that devolved into a riot.
"It's the stuff that keeps you up at night, like once you do get to sleep, your dreams are about what happened and you're waking up in a dark cold sweat,"
the teenager revealed to Carlson's crew.
Rittenhouse revealed that he has dreams about the deadly night "every single day."
"It's quite scary actually, because the dreams feel so real. And they're not the same at all, they're all different. They're the different scenarios that run through your head during the day, like, what could have happened,"
"I'm alive, but what could have happened, like what if I wasn't alive, or what if I did let Mr. Rosenbaum steal my gun? It's those types of dreams ... almost every outcome is me getting seriously injured or hurt or dead. Those are the dreams I have on a daily basis."
It was revealed during the trial by Rittenhouse's defense attorney Mark Richards that the teenager is in therapy for the PTSD he suffers from, stemming from the night of August 25, 2020.
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