Secular Things That Are Clearly Just Knockoffs Of Their Superior Christian Versions | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The world has been trying to rip off Christianity for thousands of years with wacky false idols and soap opera quality greek mythology. Frankly, it's embarrassing.

    Check out these embarrassingly lame secular things that are just knockoffs of their superior Christian versions:

    1) Baal: Cheap imitation of God. Can't even call down fire from the heavens. What a loser!

    2) Jurassic Park: Clearly inspired by Ken Ham's Creation Museum.

    3) MAGA: A mere shadow of Christ's beatitudes.

    4) Super Mario Bros: Bible Adventures did it better.

    5) An Inconvenient Truth: A soulless copy of Left Behind, but no one survives. What's the point?

    6) Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit: Obvious ripoff of the beloved hymn "Jesus Freak."

    7) Superman: A shoddy combination of Moses, Jesus, and angels.

    8) Batman: They're clearly aping Bibleman here. And the joker is definitely inspired by Joel Osteen.

    9) Tom Cruise: Shorter Kirk Cameron.

    10) Wine: Welch's Grape juice imposter.

    11) Metallica: Inferior version of Stryper.

    12) Tom Hanks: Poor man's Kevin Sorbo.

    13) TED Talks: A John MacArthur sermon with no meaning or purpose.

    14) Jen Hatmaker: Jen Hatmaker from 20 years ago.

    Remember, kids. If you want to be cool like a Christian just be a Christian. Don't be a total secular poser, brah.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Miley Cyrus To Perform Halftime Show At Jan. 6 Committee Hearings Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Conservatives Call For Return To Traditional Strip Clubs With No Kids Or Drag Queens


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

One would think that the former Attorney General would have known better
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
UNC board committee votes unanimously to end DEI in UNC system
Police in the nation’s capital are not stopping illegal aliens who are driving around without license plates, according to a new report.
Davidaon County student suspended for using correct legal term for those in country illegally
Lawmakers and privacy experts on both sides of the political spectrum are sounding the alarm on a provision in a spy powers reform bill that one senator described as one of the “most terrifying expansions of government surveillance” in history
given to illegals in Mexico before they even get to US: NGOs connected to Mayorkas

HbAD1

committee gets enough valid signatures to force vote on removing Oakland, CA's Soros DA
other pro-terrorist protests in Chicago shout "Death to America" in Farsi
Only two of the so-called “three Johns” will be competing to replace Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) as leader of the Senate GOP.
House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan (R-OH) is looking into whether GoFundMe and Eventbrite cooperated with federal law enforcement during their investigation into the financial transactions of supporters of former President Donald Trump.
Turkish diplomatic sources say he did
Popularity of government leader crashes, even among his own party members.

HbAD2

 
Back to Top