Trump Diligently Working To Help Dems Hold Senate So People Will Miss Him Even More By 2024 | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    MAR-A-LAGO, FL     Former President Trump has continued his steadfast work helping the Democrats retain control of the Senate, so that everyone will really, really miss him by the time 2024 gets here.

    "Look how bad everything is getting! It's so terrible!" said Trump, cackling. "Two more years of these losers, the whole country will beg to have me back!"

    According to sources, President Trump hatched the plan shortly after the 2020 election. "It was genius, everyone said so," said Mr. Trump. "I just told Republicans in Georgia to not bother voting in the Senate runoff. Next thing you know - surprise! The Democrats pull off the victory. Then they were able to appoint all sorts of horrible people to run the country, be on the Supreme Court, pass terrible laws, whatever. Totally disastrous for the Republican party and for our beautiful country! Sad. Bet they miss me now!"

    Pundits wondered how Mr. Trump could possibly still damage the Republicans' chances after GOP scored such a massive upset victory in the Virginia governor's race, where Biden had won handily. "We really didn't account for how effectively Trump could elevate disastrous candidates like Dr. Oz," said a Republican Senator on condition of anonymity. "We also were caught off guard that after Trump took over the bulk of GOP fundraising, he would then decline to use the funds to help Senate candidates. So now we have lousy candidates and no money, basically guaranteeing Democrats a Senate victory. Well played, Mr. Trump. Well played."

    At publishing time, Trump had agreed to come hold a rally in Pennsylvania, provided he didn't have to use any of the loser GOP candidates' names during his speech.

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#145

After one full year of the Biden /Harris Administration: Does Joe Biden have the intellectual capacity, and, or the energy to lead the United States of America through the mess that he predominately created ... in just one year?

  Yes

  No

  Unsure

1,222 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?