9 Pastors Reveal Their Pre-Sermon Walk-Up Song

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9 Pastors Reveal Their Pre-Sermon Walk-Up Song

Published: Monday, September 26th, 2022 @ 12:43 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    We sent our Babylon Bee investigative journalists all across the country to find out which walk-up songs famous pastors are using to hype up the crowd as they leave the on-deck circle and take the stage. Here's what these celeb pastors blast from the PA system as the lights dim and they step up to the plate - err, pulpit. Plus, we got a statement from each of them:

    John MacArthur - "Master of Puppets" by Metallica - "I like the Calvinistic bent of the puppet imagery. Plus, Kirk Hammett just slays in this song."

    Benny Hinn - "Bodies" by Drowning Pool - "How did you get in here? Security is going to escort you out now."

    Beth Moore - Whoops! Sorry, we said "pastors." - "That was rude. I'm going to tell my boyfriend Jesus about this, y'all!"

    Jonathan Edwards - "Highway to Hell" by ACDC - "I like to remind my congregation that they are on the highway to hell, and that highway is a rotten covering, ready to crumble any moment as they fall into the pit of hell. You gotta love Bon Scott's performance, too."

    Carl Lentz - "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen - "What? It's catchy."

    Kenneth Copeland - "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden - "There's no double meaning here. I just like Steve Harris's bass chops and Bruce Dickinson's blood-curdling scream. Legendary. Up the irons!"

    Joel Osteen - "Billionaire" by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars - "I here and now seize God's FAVOR to become a BILLIONAIRE one day by the power of God. That's what Jesus died for, after all."

    John Piper - "Fun, Fun, Fun" by The Beach Boys - "What a great reminder that we can be hedonistically satisfied by the glory of God as He is glorified in us!" [Piper accidentally slapped us with his hands while he was saying this, and a lawsuit is forthcoming.]

    Paul Washer - "Here Comes the Pain" by Slayer - "Why are you guys asking me for a statement? I'm talking about YOU!"

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