9 Pastors Reveal Their Pre-Sermon Walk-Up Song

Latest Polls (view all)

Where do you stand on the Transgender Issue now that the issue has gotten to the overt point of the open celebration of this lifestyle choice, dictated by certain direct and explicit actions.

88.37% I do not approve of behavior that has within its expressed tenants policies that harm children.

10.47% I do support the Trans Community in all its many facets because diversity is at a premium in today's society.

1.16% What is a "Children's Drag Queen Story Hour?"

Click Here to Vote
86 Vote(s)

View all Polls

9 Pastors Reveal Their Pre-Sermon Walk-Up Song

Published: Monday, September 26th, 2022 @ 12:43 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    We sent our Babylon Bee investigative journalists all across the country to find out which walk-up songs famous pastors are using to hype up the crowd as they leave the on-deck circle and take the stage. Here's what these celeb pastors blast from the PA system as the lights dim and they step up to the plate - err, pulpit. Plus, we got a statement from each of them:

    John MacArthur - "Master of Puppets" by Metallica - "I like the Calvinistic bent of the puppet imagery. Plus, Kirk Hammett just slays in this song."

    Benny Hinn - "Bodies" by Drowning Pool - "How did you get in here? Security is going to escort you out now."

    Beth Moore - Whoops! Sorry, we said "pastors." - "That was rude. I'm going to tell my boyfriend Jesus about this, y'all!"

    Jonathan Edwards - "Highway to Hell" by ACDC - "I like to remind my congregation that they are on the highway to hell, and that highway is a rotten covering, ready to crumble any moment as they fall into the pit of hell. You gotta love Bon Scott's performance, too."

    Carl Lentz - "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen - "What? It's catchy."

    Kenneth Copeland - "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden - "There's no double meaning here. I just like Steve Harris's bass chops and Bruce Dickinson's blood-curdling scream. Legendary. Up the irons!"

    Joel Osteen - "Billionaire" by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars - "I here and now seize God's FAVOR to become a BILLIONAIRE one day by the power of God. That's what Jesus died for, after all."

    John Piper - "Fun, Fun, Fun" by The Beach Boys - "What a great reminder that we can be hedonistically satisfied by the glory of God as He is glorified in us!" [Piper accidentally slapped us with his hands while he was saying this, and a lawsuit is forthcoming.]

    Paul Washer - "Here Comes the Pain" by Slayer - "Why are you guys asking me for a statement? I'm talking about YOU!"

Go Back