Kamala Harris Admits She Was Absent From Law School The Day They Taught 'Talking Like A Person' | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Vice President Kamala Harris had a rare moment of candor with the media today about why she's so terrible at talking.

    During impromptu questioning while leaving an event, Harris was asked by a reporter about the border crisis. The Vice President replied, "The border is like a line that goes between things, which when you think about it, is like a border. This border then divides one thing from another thing, and that is division, and we should all, I believe, work to overcome division."

    When asked what on earth that meant, Ms. Harris replied, "Honestly, I don't know...I was absent from law school the day they taught the whole 'talking like a person' thing." She then proceeded into her usual cackle, which caused thousands of crows to rise out of nearby trees, momentarily blocking out the sun.

    On further investigation, the University of California confirmed that Ms. Harris was indeed marked absent on the day that Hastings College of Law taught students how to speak. Though most law students arrive with some fundamental grasp of how to group words into a sentence and sentences into a thought, the class was created specifically for Ms. Harris at the recommendation of her academic advisor. That former academic advisor, Professor Marvin Finkelstein, could not be reached for comment as he reportedly checked himself into a mental institution shortly after Ms. Harris' arrival on campus, and plans to remain there "until it's safe."

    According to an anonymous Harris staffer, "The nervousness we feel every time she opens her mouth has become routine. But the crows are like, a new thing. It's really taking the terror we experience to a whole new level."

poll#162

In what may be the most divisive period in modern American History, even more divisive than the turbulent sixties due to today's lack of patriotism, consider what are the major catalysts causing so much of this calamity of conflict, and vote: What most instigates the division of America, on this day September 20, 2022?

  Racism within our society

  Sex realignment to the detriment of our society.

  Biden /Harris Wide Open Southern Border Policy for the Demographic Upheaval of OUR Constitutional Republic

  Rampant Crime in Democratic controlled cities, and the possible contagion elsewhere

  Covid Pandemic, and its mishandling at the political, and bureaucratic levels.

  The unresolved questions /allegation regarding the flawed 2020 General Election

  January 6th Riot or "Armed Insurrection", depending upon patriotic perspective

  Joe Biden as Divisive Leader; Ineffective and Corrupt Executive

  Failed Education Industry, from an overall perspective, regarding all levels of education.

  Propagandistic Media in complete conflict with the First Amendment's guarantee of Freedom of Speech, and the awesome responsibility of a Free Press..

  "Orangeman Bad!"

  Bureaucracy rushing to a behemoth size, its unjustified expense, and far too often overreach.

  The Weaponized Deep State for political purposes

  A secular ambivalence to all that is real.

  Record number of overdose deaths from opioids and now Fentanyl

  Biden Administration's disastrous Foreign Policy

  Bidenflation /supply chain failure inevitably evolving into stagflation and recession.

  "Ultra MAGA Extremists" freely speaking louder AND LOUDER!

928 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?