10 Upsides To Socialism | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    When socialism arrives, you're going to want to be ready to "look at the glass as half-full" - even if the glass is empty or even if there is no glass! Here are 10 new perspectives you can adopt in the glorious socialist utopia that will help you make the best of things!

  1. You can finally meet your weight loss goal: If current trends hold, you'll be down to a slim, girlish 75 pounds by end-of-year!
  2. Your wife will be limited to only a couple of decorative pillows: Save the leather couch cushions to boil into this year's neighborhood stone soup festival!
  3. Kids aren't nearly as noisy when they're dehydrated: For big families living under socialism, silver linings abound!
  4. Everyone is happy: It helps that the complainers seem to just disappear!
  5. You'll meet all kinds of nice people while standing in line: Broaden your horizons. Or should we say "breaden" your horizons? Eh? EH?
  6. No election fraud: It's easier when there are no elections!
  7. No long lines at Starbucks: It's easier when there's no Starbucks!
  8. You get to choose from one of two exciting books at the public library: Das Kapital by Marx and Becoming by Michelle Obama. What more do you need?
  9. No more depressing news: The state news media is always so positive about how the government is doing - it lifts the spirits of any patriotic citizen!
  10. You won't feel lonely anymore: Big Brother will always be with you!

    It's all about perspective - just remember to look on the bright side - or else!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




TRUMP Report Card (12-13-22) Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Soccer Finally Interesting


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Goldman Sachs recently informed its clients that it expects home values to tank in four major markets across the U.S. amid worsening economic conditions.
REAL Definition The Left Doesn’t Want You To See
After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.

HbAD1

Former Trump administration official Mike Pompeo accused Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) of leaking classified information.
A unanimous N.C. Court of Appeals panel has ruled that University of North Carolina System students cannot sue for partial refunds of tuition and fees paid for the spring 2020 semester.
Meta announced Wednesday it will end former President Trump’s suspension from Facebook and Instagram, saying the penalty imposed after January 6 was “an extraordinary decision taken in extraordinary circumstances,” and sternly pledging to enforce “certain guardrails” on Trump in the future.
Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
A foreign national pleaded guilty Wednesday to a failed attempt at poisoning numerous public officials by mailing threatening letters containing homemade ricin toxins to their homes, including to former President of the United States Donald Trump at the White House in 2020.
While a historic political button suggests that the late Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. once ran for president with pediatrician and author Dr. Benjamin Spock, the two never officially declared their candidacy.
A lengthy email found in Hunter Biden‘s abandoned laptop is raising questions about whether the first son had improper access to classified information.
Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command "Sing unto the Lord a new song" in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
Legendary comedian Dave Chappelle recently slammed transgender activists during an episode of his new podcast over a protest they staged at one of his events last year.

HbAD2

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) slammed a reporter Tuesday evening who pressed him over his decision to keep Reps. Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Eric Swalwell (D-CA) off the Intelligence Committee.
why do any conservatives use far left Google for anything?
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) introduced a bill this week to stop non-citizens from voting in local elections in Washington, D.C.
Our writers spend way too much time writing jokes about how dumb AOC is. So, we are using A.I. to free them up for more important things.
Prices at the pump are on the rise across the country as a result of rising temperatures and surging demand.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top