Disagreement Among Progressives Over Whether The Vax Is The Literal Body Of Fauci Or Just Symbolic | Eastern North Carolina Now

A dispute regarding the nature of vaccination has arisen among faithful followers of The Science, and of Fauci its prophet.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     A dispute regarding the nature of vaccination has arisen among faithful followers of The Science, and of Fauci its prophet. According to sources, some progressives say that the sacrament of vaccination is the literal body of Fauci, while others believe it is only symbolic.

    "The mRNA juice we inject into our bodies to cover our COVID becomes the literal body of our Blessed Lord Fauci through a process called tranvaxstantiation," said progressive scholar Banz Tinkleman (he/him). "Whether it be Pfizer or Moderna, we can have faith that the real presence of Fauci is within the vax itself. To suggest otherwise is a damnable heresy. Why we..."

    Tinkleman was unable to finish his sentence, as the left side of his face suddenly stopped working.

    Several progressives, however, take issue with this view. "We vaccinate as a communal time of remembrance of Fauci and everything he's done for us," said a scholar Yix Mixley (she/her), who holds the opposing view. "We acknowledge that the spiritual presence of Fauci, blessings upon him, may be in with and under the vax, but reject tranvaxstantiation wholeheartedly."

    Mixley then collapsed due to heart inflammation.

    At publishing time, progressive leaders agreed to settle it through a holy war in which any heretics would be burned at the stake, but ultimately elected to just burn Portland down instead.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Experts Say They Don't Know What Thing Is Causing Everyone To Suddenly Collapse, But It's Definitely Not That One Thing Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Beaufort County GOP censures RINO Senator Thom Tillis


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Rasmussen asked citizenship question in demographics for first time
On Friday, in a case that the United States government and his employer have denounced as a sham, a Russian court found Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich, the first U.S. journalist to face such a charge since Nicholas Daniloff in 1986, guilty of espionage
GovTrack ranked Kamala Harris the most liberal member of the US Senate
"The largest deportation effort in American history is going to have one hell of a co-pilot," one organization exclaimed.

HbAD1

"border czar" is supporter of wide open illegal immigration
There are alternatives. Our best and brightest should seek them out
It is time we elected new board members who will speak up for the people
Short of some unforeseen catastrophe Trump will win easily.

HbAD2

Former President Donald Trump once again addressed the proposed transition policies in the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” saying in a social media post on Wednesday night that Democrats are trying to deceptively “hook” him with those proposals.
Obama led defenstration of Biden succeeds; party bosses control nomination
wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.
DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top